Very scared

Hello, 

Just looking to connect with people who understand. 

For as long  as I can remember I’ve had a lump in my arm pit. I saw the GP as a teen but was told not to worry. When my milk came in with both my babies the under arm lump also swelled too, and I had to hold lots of hot cloths on and pump to get some relief.

Then 2 years ago I sadly lost my friend, this heightened my awareness of the lump and I went back to the GP who said its axillary breast tissue. 

Then last Thursday night I became aware that it was tender and I was catching it with my arm as I moved around at night. It felt swollen, but to add my breasts also felt slightly tender (not as tender) as period about a week away (can never know for sure as have PCOS). 

I decided to go to the GP and mention it, she examined and looked quite alarmed, got a tape measure and measured it at 7cm. She said she needed to do a 2 week referral to breast clinic and I asked if she was worried and she said ‘that’s a big lump to have anywhere in your body’.

I‘m now well and truly freaked out. I’m scared that it’s so big and worried that means awful things. I’m 37, currently at university and have 2 small children of 4 and 6. My heart is just breaking at the thought that I’m going to be taken away from them. Partner keeps giving me hugs, but I feel dreadful. My life’s just completely paused and I’m feeling so much pain when I think of my children. 

Has anyone else had a similar scenario to the one I’ve described? Am I being naive to hope that it’s breast tissue that’s just swollen with hormones or something? Any advice is gratefully received. Thank you. Xxx

  • Once you've had a mammogram and ultra sound you'll be better informed. It's very, very hard not to worry. I've had two frights, one was a cocktail sausage sized lump which was just fatty tissue and then a mammogram recall. Didn't even feel that one but that was the nasty one. It's a few panic ridden weeks waiting for results and you absolutely have my sympathy. I was petrified ! It could be anything, fatty tissue, cyst, something else benign, not everything is malignant. If it is, you will deal with it, you'll find that inner strength. We are here for a hand hold and shoulder if you need one. There are some fantastic people on this site who can help calm you. Good luck and if you wish, let us know how you get on x

  • Hi Bec_1234,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I agree with Haideesmum. You are in the middle of a few panic ridden weeks until you are seen and then get your results. Most of us on this forum, would agree that this is one of the worst parts of our cancer journey. Irrespective of the outcome, you will feel better once you have an answer. At the moment, you are looking at all of the unfavourable outcomes and imagining the worst case scenario. It is a fact that 80% of those who attend the Breast Clinic, will not have cancer - only 20% will and most are eminently treatable. 

    I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and have had 2 bouts myself. I was first diagnosed 14 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life. It is only natural that you worry about your young children, I did too, but treatments and outcomes are improving all the time. There was just no comparison between that which my mum had and that which I received, only a few years later. Try to place your faith in your care team, who do this day and daily. Here's hoping that your lump turns out to be a cyst, a fibroadenoma or something benign. Here's hoping that your appointment comes through soon.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hello Haideesmum

    Thanks you so much for your reply. I have read it and reread it and everything you have said makes sense and brings some comfort thank you. I definitely will let you know how I get on, my appt is the 9th in the morning. Thanks again xx

  • Hello Jolamine,

    Thanks so much for your reply and also for including the statistics the way you have and the positive messages. I feel a bit better and you’re so right there are improvements being made everyday. My appointment is the 9th so I will post how I get on. Thank you for your kindness xxx

  • Hi Bec,

    I am glad to hear that you now have your appointment through. I shall be thinking of you on 9th and hope that all goes well. Are you aware that you may not get any results on the day? If you need a biopsy, it can take from 1-3 weeks to get the results. If you have to have one, make sure to ask when your results are likely to be back, as this is always an anxious wait.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Jolamine I just got my biopsy results today and they took 4 weeks just so you are aware there is some resource shortages 

  • Hi Anita,

    You're right, there are shortages of resources in some parts of the country, but not in others. Four weeks is a long time to wait. How are you feeling, now that you've got your results?

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx