Hi all,

im just frozen with fear. I have posted on here the other day about the endoscopy I have today/this pm. I was due to have one but apparently the wait was very long. I then spoke to my doctor the other week and explained my symptoms. She said she would refer me urgently for an endoscopy. I figured they were being cautious but I have had many of the symptoms for a long time and assumed they were all party of ongoing digestive problems/GERD etc. I do however take Omeprozole 40 mg  daily so imagined that symptoms would stop with this medication.

Just before leaving the house to walk to the  hospital, I thought I would check my NHS app and doctors notes. I was completely shocked to read that they have made a referral for ‘suspected cancer….’

I am literally shaking as no other doctor has mentioned this and some symptoms I have had for many months and more.

I thought an endoscopy looked for so many other things. 

I just cant go ahead and can’t wait for someone to come and tell me after the procedure what they have found. Theo is just too agonising and I am frozen with fear. 

I already feel very weak and wobbly as I’ve just found out that I’m anaemic and I think menopause is hitting me hard, also.

I know it is the right thing to do to have the procedure but I just don’t think I can go ahead. I already feels as though my throat is so tight and I can’t breathe.

can I ask for the doctor to write down (in lay terms) what they found so that I can take this away and digest it when my partner collects me from outside the hospital. I hate the idea of ‘reading’ the consultants face to try and work out what he/she is thinking.