Waiting on breast biopsy results - heads a mess

Hello everyone.

Ive never really posted on anything like this before but I just feel so lost and scared right now I thought Id see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same. 
Im 36, beautiful son and hubby. Couple of weeks ago was doing my fake tan, noticed just the slightest of dips in my left breast (bottom outer corner). I was due on my cycle so left it a few days encase it was something related and when it didnt go I made an appointment with my GP. They couldn't feel anything but made a referral to the breast clinic based on asymmetrical breasts. 
So I head to the clinic, consultant has a feel and agrees on the dip and can feel a lump underneath it. This then leads them to book me in as urgent for the following day but for a biopsy, mammograms and so on. So I have the mammograms done, they take multiple images. Wait again to head into the consultation room with 2 student nurses, the consultant, a Ultrasound tech and a nurse. They start talking about the lump and identify another one but at this point Im a bit numb and not really taking it all in. I have the biopsies done and then the consultant speaks to me, here is where Im upset at myself as I cant remember the exact wording (my head was and is a mess) but something along the lines of “Concerned” or “Suspecting” malignancy. It was all so fast though. I had titanium chips popped in over the two lumps tested then sent back out for another mammogram to confirm their placement and booking me in for an MRI. During the last mammogram I felt so stupid, I was almost literally frozen as every muscle was so tense and I just couldn't stop trembling. The poor technician was trying to get me to relax but I just couldn’t 
I feel so lost, so scared and to be honest completely blindsided and I don't know if Im just being a big baby or if this is a normal reaction to it all. Has anyone experienced something similar and its come back as benign? Im praying it comes back benign but their reaction and way they are speaking has made me feel like they already know it’s cancer. Then I spiral thinking oh god what if its spread already? And the littlest pain anywhere is making me so paranoid.
Im so grateful to my GP and hospital for moving so quickly, the other half just feels terrified. 
Sorry for the long rambly post and thank you for reading, I just feel like Im free falling right now x

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Aww thank you lovely appreciate you telling me....I'll look into that....could do with an anti tiredness tablet LOL, xx

  • Offline in reply to Maddygil56

    Always here if you need us...how are you hun? Scream, shout, cry or just chat, I've done it all lovely....we know what you are going through no matter what....sending hugs....xx

  • Hello   sorry Im only now responding! Oh lovely thank goodness you did get an appointment and the doctor was on the ball by the sounds of it chest infections can be so nasty. How are you feeling now?? Sometimes its just a relief to have a doctor that listens!! 
    Oh gosh my work :-( I dont know what to do, I might contact ACAS soon. Im off at the moment as its just stressing me out so much being there. Basically the ceo made a “temporary” hire to cover me as I was diagnosed, I use quotes as what was said vs what happened can vary quite a lot. The ceo then got fired and as it turns out the temp was told he was permanent which took around 60% of my job off me :-(. In effect the second I got diagnosed they made me functionally redundant without even speaking to me, I found out what they had done this to me on Linkedin. One half of me is so hurt/angry and the other just sees life too short to let myself be dragged down. Xxx