Rambleon88  I'm sorry you are having such a hard time on EC. Just listen to your body and only do what is necessary.  Remember this too shall pass. I'm taking this advice myself. As I'm struggling much more this time. Been nearly fainting a few times this week. Broke out in  a cold sweat just before the school run this morning so my husband did it on his own. When I felt a bit better I took the dog out on my own as she was sorely disappointed that she couldn't go on the school run. Now I'm just resting. Usually I'm feeling pretty OK by now in other cycles so this is a bit unexpected. It'll be a whole new ball game next time on Docetaxel I'm sure. 

 TM1   Do take it easy. Its a lot to get used to. Speak to your GP/oncologist about any side effects of the letrazole.  I am told they can help manage them. I'm glad you've got through the radiotherapy now. That's a big milestone.  Do let us know how you get on with your scan. 

 hcubix  I can only echo everyone's comments here. I will keep everything crossed for you that you get good news, but the community here is brilliant for supporting those who do need further treatment. 

Keep positive ladies. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts.

Xx

 RedRuth84  oh lovely Im sorry to hear your having a rough time too, please look after yourself and rest. Weirdly I turned a corner and out of no-where started to feel much better!! It was almost like a wave of feeling very unwell and then it sort of lifted. Still having a nightmare with my arm as the clot is still there but my husband has gotten good at helping me with the blood thinning injections so praying that doesnt delay my next treatment. I have a meeting with my Onco tomorrow so see what he says. How are you finding eating? 
When do you start on the Taxel hon? Is that the same as Paclitaxel? Im doing 4 Pac after my ECs. Fingers crossed a lot of what Ive read seems to show its a little bit gentler or atleast isnt as harsh as EC. Hope yourself and family are keeping well hon, Il be thinking of you all and here if you need to vent or just go “AHHHHH!!” :-)! Xxx

 RedRuth84  oh lovely fingers crossed you get along okay with the Docetaxel! From what I can find from others the EC is the rough stuff energy and nausea wise, Taxels tend to be achey! Its all so unique to the individual though. Just be kind to yourself and rest when you can. 

Yup mine was 8/8 ER+ and 8/8 PR + Her2 -. Maybe its because Im doing dose dense chemo? Subject to my PICC not causing any delays Im due to have chemo fortnightly xx

Oh gosh well this afternoon!!

I walked into my oncologist appointment and just broke down crying and cried through the whole thing. No idea what exactly set me off but literally the second my foot entered the room I was crying. 
I dont know, I think sometimes I just crave reassurance that they cant really give me. Bless his heart the oncologist went through predict with me again I think just to try and reassure me. I dont know if anyone can relate but sometimes I just feel so guilty and I miss life before this so much it hurts. I dont know what is wrong with me today. 

xxx

Oh Rambleon88  I'm sorry honey.  But I totally get it. And the doctors really won't give ultimate reassurance either which is exactly what we crave.

I was thinking today I want my life back too. I don't want to be worrying about this forever. I want to forget.  I want to know I'll be here for my small girls for whatever life throws at them. I can't bear the thought I might not be. They don't deserve this. I lost my mum when I was 34 to this disease and that was far too early. She never even got to meet my youngest (though she knew I was pregnant) nor even the notion of my niece :'( 

I really do need to go through Predict with my oncologist. Chemo was just a fait de complis for me. She told me it gave a 15% benefit and nothing else really.  I also want to ask her about the tumor markers in the blood that they keep measuring with each cycle. I want to know what I'm up against on top of the  oncotyping result of 59/100.  I'm a lawyer so I hate unknowns and I need information to process things. It's a nasty habit lol. 

Stay strong lovely - sending big virtual hugs.   Xx

 RedRuth84 Im so so sorry about your mum hon. It really is heartbreaking, its so hard when you have little ones, I pray that Il be around to see my son grow up into a man and have a family of his own. I know it as is the case for everyone that it was never a given but it never felt so under threat before.
 I don't know if its mentally healthy but a part of me wants to just go into almost a purposeful denial after chemo, just live my life as before unless Im given a reason not to, as if it never happened. Its so hard right now though my hormones and emotions are a bit everywhere since starting chemo. Im really hoping it gets easier in time. 
Have you found it harder to process since starting chemo hon? I felt more positive within myself before starting it and wonder how much its messing with me mentally. 

Definitely go through Predict with them hon, especially if you only did it in the beginning because if your anything like me it was a lot to take in. My predict V2 scores are pretty good (V3 are awesome but its not been approved I dont think) but I desperately need to come to some sort of peace with uncertainty otherwise Im going to drive myself bananas even if I make it to 100. 

OMG I so wish Id have gone into law welldone!!! I can fully relate to not liking unknowns and yes can only imagine in your profession thats even more pronounced. Oh we will get there lovely, we have too! 
sending you a massive massive hug back xxx

 Rambleon88  I'm interested to note that you've been given 3 versions of Predict scores! I'm definitely going to ask more questions on the 2nd December. 

I think the fatigue and side effects of chemo have definitely affected the positive attitude I had been using. I think its made me feel more vulnerable, definitely.  I too was basically putting it to one side and wanting to get to life before diagnosis prior to chemo.  I am worried now it might not be effective because they had to reduce the C part of the EC to 83% because I ended up in hospital with neutropenia on the first cycle. Also I still have a fair amount of hair on my head despite not cold capping.  Whilst if this does work and is effective I won't complain, but it's just a other worry at the moment that it's not working because I've still got this hair despite cropping it short. 

I'm still waiting on the outcome of the complaint I made about the oncotyping delays, and I think that's having an impact. It's the 65 working day deadline for a response tomorrow, so we shall see how they will try and spin that. They really just need to apologise and accept responsibility. But I am sure they won't. 

I love my job. I miss it. I do want to go back when all this active hospital treatment is completed (it's just not possible at the moment to do my job) though maybe with some changes to be more family friendly.  We shall see what the future holds. But I want to do more to make memories now and not delay things. I like you, hope that I'll live a very long cancer free life, but I'm very consciousness that it's not a given anymore.  I know there is a balance somewhere and I look forward to finding it :) xxx

its the same scores but yes they have gone through it with me a couple of times now. I think they use it to provide reassurance without saying anything themselves. There are two versions of the predict tool live at the moment though - V2 which is approved medically and V3 which takes more factors into consideration but isnt approved. Definitely go through it with them, especially if you only have once before as it gives a well educated idea on the benefits of chemo and HT. 
OMG thats the word.. Vulnerable! Yes I completely get it and I dont like it either. I was trying to look af paint colours in B+Q and had to leave as a person there was coughing up a storm all over the swatches and I couldnt risk catching anything off them (they arent to know whats going on with me so its not their fault). 

Try not to link two an two with your hair hon it may just be a delayed reaction or your someone who keeps onto their hair! I saw a video about a mother and son both diagnosed and going through treatment the same time. They both shaved their heads and the son lost his hair but the mum kept it all and it even grew back a bit during! 

Its wonderful to hear you like your job, that in itself is half the battle in this life! My work has been a little strange during this process with my boss leaving.

We will find the balance lovely, we have too! Hope your feeling okay after the weekend and thank you so much for being on here its helped a lot as its so easy to feel alone. I had a right wobbly week last week but hopefully this week will be a bit more calm xxxx

Its been a lil while but thought Id hop on and see how you are all doing?

 RedRuth84 TM1  hope your both okay ladies, sending lots of love and think of you both! 

Well chemo and specifically this bloody EC stuff is no joke. I have infusion number 3 on the 18th subject to bloods and all going to plan.
If there is anyone out there whos followed this thread and about to start EC in my experience - Day 1-2 from infusion for me are iffy but okay, Day 3-5 is a write off and I basically sleep and feel rubbish. Day 6 I start to emerge achy, hungry and feeling queasy but its doable and only eases from that point. 
I have this jab I have to do at home, cant pronounce or spell it for a million quid so I call it “Figgle? Feugratism?” I dont know but its some bone marrow stimulating stuff I have to use on Day three post chemo. Any advice out there for the aches and pains that stuff causes?

Also to anyone out there whos done both EC and Paclitaxel what was the Paclitaxel bit like? Chemo is inherently *** but still is it a bit easier going than EC? 

Thanks all xxx