Cancer Research UK main site

Waiting on breast biopsy results - heads a mess

Rambleon88
Offline

Hello everyone.

Ive never really posted on anything like this before but I just feel so lost and scared right now I thought Id see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same. 
Im 36, beautiful son and hubby. Couple of weeks ago was doing my fake tan, noticed just the slightest of dips in my left breast (bottom outer corner). I was due on my cycle so left it a few days encase it was something related and when it didnt go I made an appointment with my GP. They couldn't feel anything but made a referral to the breast clinic based on asymmetrical breasts. 
So I head to the clinic, consultant has a feel and agrees on the dip and can feel a lump underneath it. This then leads them to book me in as urgent for the following day but for a biopsy, mammograms and so on. So I have the mammograms done, they take multiple images. Wait again to head into the consultation room with 2 student nurses, the consultant, a Ultrasound tech and a nurse. They start talking about the lump and identify another one but at this point Im a bit numb and not really taking it all in. I have the biopsies done and then the consultant speaks to me, here is where Im upset at myself as I cant remember the exact wording (my head was and is a mess) but something along the lines of “Concerned” or “Suspecting” malignancy. It was all so fast though. I had titanium chips popped in over the two lumps tested then sent back out for another mammogram to confirm their placement and booking me in for an MRI. During the last mammogram I felt so stupid, I was almost literally frozen as every muscle was so tense and I just couldn't stop trembling. The poor technician was trying to get me to relax but I just couldn’t 
I feel so lost, so scared and to be honest completely blindsided and I don't know if Im just being a big baby or if this is a normal reaction to it all. Has anyone experienced something similar and its come back as benign? Im praying it comes back benign but their reaction and way they are speaking has made me feel like they already know it’s cancer. Then I spiral thinking oh god what if its spread already? And the littlest pain anywhere is making me so paranoid.
Im so grateful to my GP and hospital for moving so quickly, the other half just feels terrified. 
Sorry for the long rambly post and thank you for reading, I just feel like Im free falling right now x

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Thank you for replying 

    I was so scared but just knowing it’s curable makes all the difference to my mindset. I’m also having a breast reduction which is a bonus ️ xx

  • Offline

    Hey everyone, 

    Hope your all okay. 

    Struggling to sleep right now. 
    Had my meeting with Oncology today, lovely person and talked me through everything. I just feel like it was such a different conversation compared to my post ops. 
    Post ops was so positive and it all felt very “you can go for chemo if you want” radiotherapy wasn't even discussed. I was told to check over Predict with the sentiments that my cancer was removed with surgery and due to its stage/grade and as a luminal A its less aggressive/likely to return and if I wanted I could just take my tamoxifen and go but I opted to go for chemo to mop up any strays and for my own piece of mind.

    Cut to today’s appointment and its now being referred to by the Onco as “more aggressive” and although in terms of treatment Im HER - it did have HER cells but its still negative and it wont change treatment at all. Il be doing 4 sessions of EC and 4 of Paclitaxel over 4 months. Il also be having some sort of injection for my bones once every 6months for 3 years and being put forward for ovarian suppression now. 
    The Oncologist felt Oncotype would just be wasting time as due to my age and it having been multifocal it would likely have scored in the intermediate to high risk bracket and have just merely delayed chemo. He then throws in radiotherapy due to my age even though I had a Mx I should discuss RT. I had to ask if what I was told about it all after surgery was still the case as it just felt like such a different conversation. 
    I feel like what positive sentiments I took from my post ops have been shaken a bit. I know its silly to but a part of me clung on to the fact my predict score was good (98% for 5years and 90% for 15 years) for comfort but I was told by my onco to “take Predict with a pinch of salt” although he did go through it with me and got the same result as me but said where as on predict it gave me a between 1.5 - 3% benefit to chemo he felt it would be closer to 10% benefit in reality. A pretty huge difference in my eyes!

    I suppose I just feel a bit more scared again which is weird as apart from the bit about HER2 I knew the rest, just felt a bit like today had a more threatening tone to it all. Has anyone else had this kind of difference between their surgeon to their oncologist? Id rather go belts and braces with it but post ops just felt so much more hopeful, reassuring and less threatening than today. 

    Sorry for the long vent its just all playing on my mind. 

    xxx

  • Offline

    Hi. I also had a lump picked up from a routine mammogram. Went to breast clinic on 20th August...mammograms done, breast exams, ultrasound then a biopsy, seed placed and consultant said lump looked highly suspicious.

    Had a 7 day wait for results...had talked myself out of cancer ,but  told I had a stagec1 grade 2 cancer. Unbelievably I saw surgeon 2 days later who fitted me in for the following week! So 4th September Lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy done. Got home rhat day. Bit of an anxious wait after for my HER2 result ( which was inconclusive) further testing said tumour was oestrogen and progesterone positive but Her2 negative. Have to admit my heads still whirling...it's all been so very quick! 

    So radiotherapy starts next week, just for 1 week and then Letrozole for next 5 years...if I can tolerate it. All of this still seems unreal, but in the grand scheme of things I do feel very lucky. 

    I hope all goes well for you xxx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Hi Rambleon. Yes I had the same experience between my surgeons and my oncologist. I haven't been given my Predict scores but did do it myself. I am now very sceptical about my surgery and I'm now even wondering if I was given the right advice about that too.  It doesn't help our piece of mind at all. I go back to the oncologist tomorrow for the first cycle review. Xx

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Its so bizarre isnt it! 
    surgical were so positive but yesterday it just had a different tone to it all.

    My husband thinks Im reading too much into it as none of the information has really changed at all apart from the possibility of radiotherapy and reminds me I was still stage 2a and this is all preventative now. 
    I dont know how to describe it though, I know it maybe sounds a bit dramatic but I genuinely think Im a bit traumatized by it all as I really struggle the first few days after appointments, my brain is on hight alert.   what chemo are you on lovely? Im doing 4x EC and 4x Taxol over 4 months xx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    I'm currently on 3x Ec and 3x Docetaxel. However I spent last week in hospital with neutropenic sepsis. My neutrophils went down to 0.06. Buy they couldn't find an infection as such. I rebounded well to treatment and was out of the 5th day.  I'm sure this will be discussed tomorrow. Xx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Morning hun, aww hope your OK and feel better for getting it on here and some answers to...here's me, feel like I'm in no-mans land, still waiting for my doctors to get in touch and let me know which tablets i will be taking and still waiting on appointment date for radiotherapy, yet pre-op I had all these dates and I knew where I was at...only appointment so far is at a Maggie's centre for a pre-radiothreapy workshop, I'm going to go because they discuss it and the side effects it can give you. Tad fed up past few days. Stay positive hun, you've done brilliantly since the very beginning, sending hugs xxx

  • Offline in reply to RedRuth84

    Oh hon!! How are you feeling now? Keep us posted on how you get on tomorrow lovely. Xx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Thank you lovely. Was just a weird day yesterday truth be told. Suppose not one of us ever thought we’d be in this position. Was just so weird how basically the same information was delivered really but it just had such a weird tone to it all. I fell into a bit of a weird grey area medically so a little bit of me wonders if they just really wanted to hammer home their perceived benefits of chemo encase I started leaning against it or pushing for oncotyping before hand as it did feel a bit that way xx

  • Offline in reply to GeriM

    Oh  I hope your keeping well lovely. Its bonkers how fast everything moves. Sounds like you caught it nice and early though which is fantastic and the speed of your surgeon is incredible! 
    I have to remind myself that in reality as rubbish as it is Im lucky as it could have been so different and so easily missed in my case. Xx

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.