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Waiting on breast biopsy results - heads a mess

Rambleon88
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Hello everyone.

Ive never really posted on anything like this before but I just feel so lost and scared right now I thought Id see if there is anyone else out there feeling the same. 
Im 36, beautiful son and hubby. Couple of weeks ago was doing my fake tan, noticed just the slightest of dips in my left breast (bottom outer corner). I was due on my cycle so left it a few days encase it was something related and when it didnt go I made an appointment with my GP. They couldn't feel anything but made a referral to the breast clinic based on asymmetrical breasts. 
So I head to the clinic, consultant has a feel and agrees on the dip and can feel a lump underneath it. This then leads them to book me in as urgent for the following day but for a biopsy, mammograms and so on. So I have the mammograms done, they take multiple images. Wait again to head into the consultation room with 2 student nurses, the consultant, a Ultrasound tech and a nurse. They start talking about the lump and identify another one but at this point Im a bit numb and not really taking it all in. I have the biopsies done and then the consultant speaks to me, here is where Im upset at myself as I cant remember the exact wording (my head was and is a mess) but something along the lines of “Concerned” or “Suspecting” malignancy. It was all so fast though. I had titanium chips popped in over the two lumps tested then sent back out for another mammogram to confirm their placement and booking me in for an MRI. During the last mammogram I felt so stupid, I was almost literally frozen as every muscle was so tense and I just couldn't stop trembling. The poor technician was trying to get me to relax but I just couldn’t 
I feel so lost, so scared and to be honest completely blindsided and I don't know if Im just being a big baby or if this is a normal reaction to it all. Has anyone experienced something similar and its come back as benign? Im praying it comes back benign but their reaction and way they are speaking has made me feel like they already know it’s cancer. Then I spiral thinking oh god what if its spread already? And the littlest pain anywhere is making me so paranoid.
Im so grateful to my GP and hospital for moving so quickly, the other half just feels terrified. 
Sorry for the long rambly post and thank you for reading, I just feel like Im free falling right now x

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Aww thank you. I’m so glad today’s here but also petrified at what I’m gonna hear. Xxx

  • Offline in reply to Kwoody

    Massive hugs xx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    Update

    ive had my biopsy results and the cancer is oestrogen receptive stage two and curable thank god. The relief is unbelievable. I’m just waiting to find out my treatment plan now n then gonna kick its *** xxx

  • Offline in reply to Kwoody

    Oh lovely Im sorry to hear your results but beyond impressed by your attitude and resilience!! Kick its *** all the way hon!!!! Keep us posted on your treatment plan and if there is anything I can help give clarity on just let me know xxx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    How are you lovely? 
    Hope your okay, sending a big digital hug to you. Xx

  • Offline in reply to Lyns21

    Hello lovely! 
    oh gosh I made my boob so much more lump and sore after the biopsy and poking and prodding it. It looked like a angry storm cloud more than a boob. 
    Hope your keeping well hon xx

  • Offline in reply to Kwoody

    Hi hun, awww sorry to hear this but you sound so upbeat and that's fantastic, keep that up hun..Yes getting the results is a relief and then it's focusing on your treatment plan...we got this, all of us, we're going to be ok....massive hugs, keep us posted xxx

  • Offline in reply to TM1

    I already knew I had breast cancer in my head but it was hearing that it’s curable. That was the word I needed to hear. I can cope with everything else. We certainly will be ok xx

  • Offline in reply to Rambleon88

    Hi hun, aww thank you, back to you to....I'm OK today, yesterday was rubbish, tears on and off after going for my flu jab Tuesday afternoon, pharmacist asked if I was fit and healthy...that was it, tears....I'm OK today like I said. Had a letter to, invite to a pre-radiotherapy chat at a Maggie Centre. They tell you all about radiotherapy and the side effects....great! It's in a couple of weeks. I was really hoping I'd get my appointment to start sooner rather than later but I'll just have to wait.. I think we all will have good days and bad no matter what stage we're at...how are you hun? Xxx

  • Offline in reply to Kwoody

    Hi Kwoody,

    Apart from the cancer diagnosis, this is good news. You are starting out in the right frame of mind, as positivity is key to beating this. A difficult few months, then you'll be on the right path again.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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