Got a phonemail to say MRI is Thursday, she confirmed that it is just on my breast area 

Had the MRI yesterday and was very emotional when they put the cannula in - think it was reality hitting me.  Felt quite positive after is because I said I have my results appointment Tuesday so hope the specialist has the MRI results by then.  Was told he would.  Went back to work straight after as I have been off for a couple of weeks since I went to the breast clinic. Felt that it did me good, still haven't shared the news and I managed really well.

Today in work I  got a phone all at 11.20am from the breast clinic cancelling my results appointment for Tuesday.  Obviously other people were around so I just said oh you're kidding me and the nurse said they haven't got my results back.  That was it.  Not when I might hear next, an alternative appointment, nothing.  

When I got home I iterally fell to pieces and haven't long stopped crying.  Am so upset and feeling angry.  How do they know the results won't be back?  I am thinking maybe they need to have them and discuss them before my appointment but if that is the case at least tell me that.  I phoned the breast nurse about 4 o'clock and left a message explaining the earlier phone call and saying what am I meant to do, I keep getting pain in my breast and arm, something is eating away at me and I don't know what is going on or how I am meant to carry on each day.  I haven't had a call back.  

I get that they can't give me results if they haven't got them but to have no explanation?  It is the second 'results' appointment that they have cancelled.  It has been over 2 weeks already and is there not a chance that they'll get them on Monday or even Tuesday morning?   just feel very let down.  I had built myself up to Tuesday, literally counting the days/nights and believing I could get through to Tuesday.  Now I feel like the rug has been pulled from under me again and I am back to square one.  I don't think it helps that I have been struggling with post-covid ll health for so long now that I am so done with it.  Especially as the long-cold team have now put all my appointments on hold because I am under the breast clinic.

I get we're all human, people iare in far worse situations than me and am so grateful of the care I receive but I am just not feeling cared for at the moment.  The waiting really is torturous.  I don't know what I am meant to do?

I read that breast cancer doesn't cause weight gain but like you, for this last year I've piled it on. I gave up drinking, chocolate, ate healthy low calorie meals, calorie counted and still couldn't get it under control. Does make you wonder. I'm so sorry about your cancelled appointments, the waiting is torture. You can cope with knowing but the not knowing sends you into overdrive. I would give the bcn another call on Monday, see if they have a rescheduled date for you. Easier said than done, but try and find some nice things to do over the weekend to help try and take your mind off it. Fingers crossed for you !

Thankyou so much, I will phone again Monday.  I had a text today but it was just confirming the cancelled appointment.  Feel like the MRI had been forgotten, given hat the breast nurse told me I'd had it the I hadn't even been contacted about it.  Bit disappointing that I haven't been given a follow up appointment or any explanation.  Oh well.... Will try to keep busy, feel like I am struggling so much though.  Really appreciate your reply and hope you are ok? x

After my first recall letter and the biopsy I felt like a pressure cooker waiting to explode. My anxiety was like nothing I'd felt before, I literally couldn't function. After the worst day of feeling like that, I woke up and was back to normal and as if it was happening to someone else. I think my mind put the brakes on for my sanity. I've taken everything in my stride now. The only thing that threw me was the mention of chemo. I had grade 2 er+ her- 22mm. Clear margins and no lymph node involvement. Radiotherapy and hormone blockers was all I was told then they mentioned the oncotype dx test. So waiting for the results of that and if my score is over 25 then I'm looking at chemo. Vanity I know, I can get my head around losing a boob (luckily I didn't, a lumpectomy instead) but the thought of losing my hair is terrifying to me. Ridiculous really but can't help how you feel. It's a constant round of worrying, is it cancer, then has it spread, have they got it all out, are the lymph nodes clear, on and on it goes. We all find strength we didn't know we had, while still trying to carry on with an outwardly normal life. I'd keep on at them, you need to start the ball rolling... you must feel like you're banging your head against a brick wall ! Fingers crossed that you get some answers tomorrow. Keep me informed and I'm wishing you good luck and all the best. X

Thankyou so much. I hope you don’t have to wait long for your results. It sounds like you are doing amazing in dealing with it all. It’s hard to stop wandering thoughts but I think when you don’t know it’s hard to not try and work out every situation to give some clarity x

I have my first oncology appointment tomorrow, they slipped me in because of a cancellation. Not a clue what to expect, more nail biting. Had a 5 minute meltdown Friday night, buried my face in my daughters boobs and cried like a baby ! I guess it's all one step closer but would be nice to wake up and it's all been a dream x

It’s so hard to not have a meltdown and glad your daughter is supporting you.

I hope your appointment goes well today x

Have you gotten any luck with a phone call ? I hope so ! My appointment went so much better than I expected. Oncotype dx test came back with a score of 12 so no chemo ! That's a relief. I've kept my diagnosis very private, only a few people know so chemo would have blown it wide open. I just needed to know I'd be alright before I told wider family and work. Getting closer to telling people without bursting into tears now ! I have 5 days of radiotherapy and 5 years of anastrozole tablets. I consider myself very, very lucky indeed.  I will walk away from this with two scars and the biggest scare of my life. At the same time you feel sad because not everyone is so lucky and it doesn't feel right to celebrate. I'm wishing you all the luck in the world too x

Am pleased your appointment was better that expected!! I understand keeping diagnosis private until you know, I think people will naturally want to know information that we ourselves are wanting and have similar questions to us.  I'll private message you.

I had 3 calls from the breast clinic today. Was told initially that they are waiting on results and that is why tomorrows appointment was cancelled.  I understand that but wanted some more advice so was told a breast nurse would call me back. Second call was that that my assigned breast nurse is away this week and that they couldn't give me any information even if it was there which is may or may not be.  Explained my general ill health but pain added pain in arm since biopsy, not sure if lymph nodes have been checked, feeling like I now need to tell a few close people but not actually sure what to tell them etc and was told someone else would phone me.

Third phone call was a nurse of the consultant.  She explained that biopsy AND MRI results have to be back for them to know anything properly.  I told her the biopsy was nearly 3 weeks ago and when I went fo the MRI they said the results would be back by tomorrow when my appointment was meant to be. She would do her best to speak to him and try to get some information and a few scenarios for me so that I would have something that would give a bit of possible plan but obviously that could change.   I  have relatives who live abroad who are going home this week so I would like to tell them face to face. She explained that the group discussion of results only happens on a Friday and when results are back.  Mine weren't back on Friday hence then cancellation for tomorrow.  So I know a bit more than I did, was pleased with the explanation and fingers crossed I get some more information tomorrow.