Hello thearcher.  I am not going to tell you 'not to worry' because that wouldn't do much good would it?  The truth is, we ALL worry when we have what might possibly be a serious health condition.  I always think that waiting for the  results is ALMOST as bad as the diagnosis itself, but at least when you get your results, you will know that a treatment plan will be put in place and you will feel that at least something is getting done.  I don't have any children, so that was one concern that I didn't have when I was going through this cancer nightmare (and am STILL going through it).  I can't even begin to imagine how much worse it must be when you have a child to consider.  What I would like to ad is that even IF it is the worst case scenario, there is a lot than can be done nowadays, and cancer is no longer the automatic death sentence that it was 50, 40 or even 20 years ago.  Also, please don't beat yourself up about having morbid thoughts........your thoughts and emotions are valid, and you have every right to feel the way you are feeling.  Anyway, good luck and please keep us informed, xx

Thank you for your reply, it’s so lovely of you to do that.  I hope you’re doing ok? 

I just kind of go through so many emotions, sometimes if I try hard enough I can almost forget but then remembering makes me feel sick. 

Then the guilt at how long it could have been there without noticing. And then about losing my hair and of course death. I try to rationalise the death fear by telling myself no one whether well or otherwise is promised a tomorrow, but it just feels like there could be a time bomb above my head.

I’m not sure how long I’ll have to wait for results, my appointment is booked for two weeks but I know they could call earlier than that. 

thank you again for replying xxx 

Hi again thearcher.  I understand what you mean about losing your hair if you have to have chemo.  I had waist length blonde hair and it started falling out after my second round of chemo.  Naturally I was devastated, but at the end of the day, the most important thing is staying alive isn't it?  And yes you are also right about the fact that no-one is promised tomorrow.  Back in November 2022 I was told that I had a year to live.  To say that I was shell-shocked would be an understatement.  I have gone 7 months over my 'sell-by' date and I am grateful for every day that I am still here, but of course I am very much aware that I am living on borrowed time.  I am at peace with myself, but I must admit that I get my dark days........who wouldn't?   I know exactly what you mean about living with a time-bomb over your head.  I hope that you get the answers to your health problems as quickly as possible, and fingers crossed that it turns out to be a completely harmless lump in your breast.  I guess it is  human nature to always assume the worst isn't it?  Anyway mate, as I said, keep us informed, and  I will pray for you (if you don't mind), xxx

You are so very lovely, and I am so sorry that you are going through this! Your kindness is so appreciated and a prayer too would be so very lovely of you, thank you so so much. Your strength and attitude is truly inspiring and you deserve si many more bright days ahead xxx

UPDATE
So my biopsy results from my lump have come back benign 
I’m so relieved… however still worried about this flipping rash that popped up a few days after the biopsy  - also just feeling in the weird place as have been living in this world of anxiety for a week and finding it hard to believe it’s all ok! Not sure if it’s the rash making me feel like that 

Thank you to all who commented and sent good luck and for your wonderful words  

Hiya thearcher.  I am sooooooooo pleased for you!  What a relief it must be for you and your daughter.  Don't worry too much about the rash.......it could be a reaction you had to the biopsy.  The main thing is that you are okay.  Congratulations, and good luck for the future, xx

Thank you so so much  I am still in a little bubble at the moment as scared myself so much, thank you for being so lovely xxx