Really sorry that you're in this position again. I can imagine its quite a shock. After my BC diagnosis, I thought if it happened again I would be ready but I've had a few cancer scares since and I was worse than when I was first diagnosed with BC. I guess it was because I knew too much. It's a daunting prospect to have to go through it all again. 

I have heard of women getting it twice, within two years of first diagnosis. Unlike you, they did have radiotherapy but it still came back. Cancer is a sneaky *** and no one can predict what will happen after a cancer diagnosis.

it may not be what you think it is. My consultant would call me up whenever benign changes were seen on a mammogram. 

I've got everything crossed for you and please let us know how you get on x

Thanks for replying Magpiemaggie. I completely agree with you that the subsequent scares are more frightening because you know more about what a diagnosis could mean. I was overwhelmed with sadness at being called back for the biopsy and having no idea what they’d seen to require that left my brain filling in the blanks. I’ve now seen the consultant and unfortunately it is another BC. It is indeed a sneaky blighter. Slightly worse as it is invasive this time but they think it is only marginally bigger than last time. A MRI will give us more info to check that is the case. Fortunately they can do another lumpectomy rather than me losing the breast (this made me very happy!). This time they’ll need to take lymph nodes too to check it if it’s reached any of the closest ones which is a bit daunting as I like to exercise a lot so strengths exercises will be off the cards for a while. They’re doing genetic testing too which I’m hoping doesn’t come back positive. I’ll have radiotherapy and then tamoxifen. So much to take in so just going to take it one day at a time. I hope you don’t have any more scares x

I understand your worry, I absolutely hated the 'new you' speach given to me by all and sundry - drove me nuts

I don't see why anyone needs to change who they are just because of cancer. 

The invasive diagnosis did shock me and I was angry because I thought I'd have made a different surgical decision if I knew but once I calmed down I realised I would have made the same decision. 

I see nothing in your diagnosis that would stop you from doing the things you love. 

The amount of lymph nodes they remove will depend on how many react to the iodine, you may be lucky and have only one removed. 

I have to admit I just got on with my life after surgery and that included grocery shopping, stretching to the top shelf for items and carrying bags of shopping, I got a right telling of from radiology nurse

I was keen to put that episode behind me. I did not want wrapped up in cotton wool. 

Everyone is different but do what you want to do and don't let cancer stop you x

Thanks Magpiemaggie. I really struggled emotionally for the couple of weeks pre-surgery. I managed to work to distract myself a little. I’m a couple of weeks post-surgery now. They removed 2 lymph nodes in the end. The first week afterwards I felt really calm because it was good to have that bit done and know that there was nothing else to know right now. I’ve followed their advice to the letter and, because I can’t exercise as I would normally, I’ve tried to head your advice to not let cancer stop me so I’ve just upped my walking to help me avoid lymphodema and make me feel mentally well. I did 40 miles this week just gone and I feel like I’ve done everything I can to recover well. 

However the morning crying has crept back in towards the end of the second week as we lead up to tomorrow’s post-op consultant appointment. There’s so much racing through my head about what they may or may not be able to tell me. I’ve written down lots of bullet points to make sure I ask everything. We’re virtually at 6 weeks since my diagnosis, which is the max they said it would take to get my genetic testing back but I still haven’t heard anything. I’m worrying there is something they’ve found and are saving for tomorrow. When I put that worry down I seem to pick up another one (it being in my lymph nodes; it not being in the nodes but getting high oncotype score, etc, etc). Like you I’m just so keen to put this episode behind me and I’m still struggling to see a light at the end of that tunnel when it will be over and ‘normality’ can resume. I’ll let you know how I get on. X 

Well done in getting through all of that. I'm impressed by the amount of physical activity you have managed.

I was told genetic testing can take months, it depends on the capacity of the laboratory, so I wouldn't be worried that you've not heard back yet. 

Tomorrow is the chance to get all the info you need to move on. As they say Knowledge is Power and it should stop the intrusive thoughts in your head, which in itself can be exhausting.

You have come this far, you can do the next stage

Do come back and let us know how you get on x

Thanks Magpiemaggie  that means a lot. So, hugely relieved to find the invasive cancer has been removed and is NOT in my lymph nodes. I recognise this is very very good news. Sadly, as seems to be the way with cancer, there’s less positive news too. They found 2cm more DCIS around the invasive cancer so my margins aren’t clear which requires more surgery. Also the team has looked back at all my scans they think there’s several small calcifications at the edges of that area. They weren’t concerned about them before as they’re not a cluster but now they’ve found a much bigger patch of DCIS they are uncomfortable leaving them there without knowing what they are. They’ve gone away to consider all the options but mastectomy seems quite likely now as they sound difficult to biopsy and a further lumpectomy would be pretty disfiguring. No news on genetics tests. So more waiting to find out where we go next - feeling a mixture of partial relief and exhaustion x 

Thank you for updating, it's a much clearer picture than before. I also had to have further surgery to clear the margins, much easier than the first. How do you feel about having a mastectomy? Have they offered reconstruction? I had over 7cm of DCIS in my right breast and 6.9cm in left, my surgeon was able to do a reconstruction on both. I went into surgery with C cup and came out with a D cup, don't ask me how as I have never been told how that's even possible

However if mine comes back I will be opting for a double mastectomy. There's only so many times I am willing to go under the knife. x

Honestly, I feel absolutely gutted to have a mastectomy. I really like my breasts and I’ve come to love my body as it is over the last few years. A mastectomy was the thing I was most relieved to avoid after both diagnosis’. I was most shocked as I hadn’t considered it would be reappear as a treatment option on the table. They say chemo is unlikely to be needed but I’m quickly learning to not count my chickens and just take this one consultation at a time because it seems to be an ever evolving picture - who knows what the small calcifications actually are?! I’m in agreement with the consultant, I’m not prepared to wait and see because I don’t want to risk being back here again worrying if it’s in my lymph nodes whilst knowing that I could have taken them out much earlier. So, I guess I’m slowly coming to accept it just needs to be done. Like you, I also don’t feel comfortable repeatedly having lumpectomy surgery. They were clear how tricky my last surgery was and the huge amount of bruising I have this time compared to last time is indicative of that. The consultant mentioned nipple-sparing mastectomy and reconstruction with an implant, which I really hope will be possible as I’m an F cup. I’ve got a lot of questions I hope to get answered next week. Huge admiration for you having gone through treatment on both breasts - that is a lot to get your head around and a lot of simultaneous healing to do. I’m very much hoping my other breast remains ‘unremarkable’ ;-) x

I was the same, last thing I wanted was a mastectomy, for me it was more to do with the length of time in hospital and the down time. A nipple sparing mastectomy sounds okay, my surgeon was going to remove mine and "make me new ones". Honestly, if only it were that simple. Gave surgeon a lecture on why nipples are important to women, especially when it comes to sex. Don't think a lot of surgeons realise that there won't be any sensation after surgery. 

I am in the position just now that my left breast is slightly swollen so back to the breast clinic next week for scans. I am not worried, just so fed up with it. 

Let me know how you get on as I’m also here to support you too. I can entirely empathise with the fed up feeling. It would just have been lovely if both of us had been able to draw a line under our BC experiences first time round and it sucks that neither of us have been able to do that. It helps me to sit with that feeling sometimes before I can move forward and accept it. Take care of yourself ahead of your scan x

It would have been nice to never have any worries again but I know there will be times when something doesn't feel right and needs to be looked at by the breast cancer team. I let you know how I get on and please let me know how you get on too x

Hi RainbowCats,

Please do let us know how you get on. I had lumpectomy/reconstruction 2nd April 2024. It was 4.6cm in the end (they thought it was 3cm from scans). MRI flagged up a smaller lump that was not showing on mammogram or ultrasound so that was also removed. It could have easily been missed if they had not given me an MRI. Mine is HER2 positive. My oncotype score was borderline 20. For my age (46) the threshold is 16. So I am at the point where they have offered me adjuvant chemo before radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I have decided to do it. Anything to try stop it returning. I am curious as to whether you had an MRI at your first diagnosis? If not it could have possibly already been there but too small to see on mammogram x

Hi RainbowCats,

Please do let us know how you get on. I had lumpectomy/reconstruction 2nd April 2024. It was 4.6cm in the end (they thought it was 3cm from scans). MRI flagged up a smaller lump that was not showing on mammogram or ultrasound so that was also removed. It could have easily been missed if they had not given me an MRI. Mine is HER2 positive. My oncotype score was borderline 20. For my age (46) the threshold is 16. So I am at the point where they have offered me adjuvant chemo before radiotherapy and tamoxifen. I have decided to do it. Anything to try stop it returning. I am curious as to whether you had an MRI at your first diagnosis? If not it could have possibly already been there but too small to see on mammogram x

Hi Topazeyes78 , Good on you for deciding to go ahead with all that treatment. It’s a lot to get your head around isn’t it?! The first time I was diagnosed I just had a mammogram and ultrasound. So I guess it is possible that there was something else lurking there. It’s hard to come to terms with but I just have to recognise that I’ve done some good things in the last couple of years that might not have been possible if I’d had more extensive treatment. Ridiculous because no one wants a recurrence but it’s the only way I can make my peace with it. Very best of luck with your treatments x