Hello. I have been a visitor to these pages a lot of the past 2 months but i thought I needed to post. 

almost 2 years ago I started to get anxiety symptoms, very generalised , just feeling ‘off’ these could present very mildly or escalate to panic attacks. dizziness etc. 

I quit drinking for 3 months as I thought this may help.. it didn’t. Although my anxiety is very generalised I think health anxiety has caused me to spiral into this, I have been scared of the doctor my whole life and had a through minor health issues such as asthma and chronic ideopathic urcataria, which are now both non symptomatic . 

In January I found two swollen lymph nodes in my neck, one lower down on the left quite small (less than a cm) and one on the right ( about 1.5cm longer and thinner) even though I was petrified I patiently waited 2-3 weeks then visited my new local GP. Told her I was very anxious (was mid panic attack when I was seen) and she had a feel. She said she could feel nothing. So I tried very hard to show her where the slightly bigger lump was. She eventually found it and said it was a muscle, I disagreed, she then said maybe a small swollen lymph node and she was not concerned at all 

may anxiety calmed and I went about my life for a few weeks until now.. they still havnt gone down. It’s been 7 weeks in total now nearly 8 I’m not sure if they have grown as sometimes I feel like they have but then the next day they feel back to how they were. 

My anxiety is ridiculous especially at work and I am in a constant loop of fight and flight. I had to leave today. I am convinced I have lymphoma. I’m scared for my children and my family. If I feel any slight itch I believe it’s an additional symptom. My neck has now been aching for about a week and I am not sure it’s from touching them so much or not.. I had one night that I woke up with a night sweat but again, this could have been panic. 

I am now absolutely petrified to go back to the doctor. 

please be kind :(