May be dealing with a skin cancer diagnosis - should I tell my daughter?

I went to see my doctor yesterday and  I have been told that I possible skin cancer and that I will be referred.  I took it quite well at the time, but the close to home I got the more I started to panic.   I broke down when I got home and told my husband.   I'm not going to say to much to anyone as I want to wait, but should I tell my daughter?  She's 22, still lives at home and we are very very close.  I think can delay telling other people, but I'm not sure how I can avoid telling her as we live under the same roof.   I just don't want to worry her needlessly

  • Hi Tippytoes and welcome to the forum.

    I'm sorry to hear you may be dealing with a possible skin cancer diagnosis and that you're unsure about whether to tell your daughter.

    You know your daughter better than anyone, so only you can decide what's best in this situation but I'm sure some of our members who have been in this position with their loved ones will be along soon to offer their thoughts and advice.

    If you feel it may help to talk this through with one of our cancer nurses, they're available on 0808 800 4040, Monday - Friday between 9a.m - 5p.m. They are very supportive and will do all they can to help you figure out what to do.

    We're thinking of you Tippytoes and wishing you all the best with your referral.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Tippytoes,

    I think you have to decide whether telling her now will cause her upset or can you manage to keep it from her? As she lives with you, can you keep your concern from her without her wondering what's going on? Only you can tell.

    Bear in mind that, just because your GP thinks you may have skin cancer, it's not always the case. You don't say what type they suspect - if it's basal cell they are often correct as GPs see many patients with this type of skin cancer. It's easily and successfully treated and rarely spreads. If it's suspected squamous cell, again it's usually successfully treated and doesn't often spread. If they suspect melanoma, 75% of patients referred to dermatology are given a clean bill of health - the mole/lesion is either benign or precancerous. 

    So, if yours is suspected basal cell or squamous cell, you may want to tell your daughter and explain it should be easily treated. If suspected melanoma, you may wish to not share this until after you've seen the dermatologist and you know more or you may decide to tell her but say that there is a good chance it's found to be harmless. If it's found to be melanoma, there is still a very good chance it's been caught early and can be successfully treated.

    Good luck and please let us know how you get on,

    Angie (Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009)