Scared, worried and thinking life is pretty much over

Hey,

I'm not too sure what to write here, or how to put it into words but around a year ago I had multiple infections (in my gum) which a RCT didn't resolve and nor did taking over 10 courses of anti biotics.

In the end the tooth had to be removed yet the infection was so bad it stuck around for months.

Then I began feeling constantly tired, even sleeping some 18 hours a day didn't help this, and it went on and on.

This kept up and I noticed I was weak, even though I had been eating, my arms felt weak, I couldn't cope with bearing weight.

My weight did and has remained stable throughout.

Then around 6 months ago I found a lump, in my neck - it freaked me out and I kept checking it daily and it just didn't go away.

After 3 months or so I made an emergency appointment which a GP, not my usual one, who examined me very quickly and said it was a swollen neck lymph node and nothing to worry about, that was it, I was sent away.

Then in January I felt it again and it would change size, sometimes smaller sometimes going back to it's larger size I think but not 100% sure.

Around this time I began to get chest pains, around my heart which would come in waves for around 2 or 3 weeks, I didn't report this as I was too scared my heart was failing, and I didn't want to hear that.

Then I noticed a strange taste in my mouth regularly, and had started losing my voice, one time I lost it for 3 days straight, I had a cough but nothing overly bad I didn't think.

Sore throats came and went, on and off I maybe had 5 or 6 over a month.

They've passed but after one night feeling the lump again my anxiety went sky high, I literally lost reality and then remembered I have been having night sweats for months, maybe a year? Some times soaking the sheets and having to put a towel down.

This led to be looking up, and yes cancer came up. 

I contacted my usual GP and this time was told I needed to be seen urgently, I was informed my lymph node remains swollen, hasn't gone down. I don't think I have others swollen but others were checked.

Cancer was mentioned, I said that's my biggest fear and I'm now under investigation and they clearly suspect something as I've had a urgent chest xray, which I'm still awaiting the results.

My chest was listened to also.

I've also been given blood tests, which includes sampling for PV - blood cancer.

I'm so scared, I don't know what to do. I'm scared I've left it too long. I had a bowel screening a few weeks back (FIT) and it was negative but obviously I'm suspected of having blood cancer or some other upper type given the lymph node.

I've been reading if it's spread to lymph nodes I'm already in stage 3

I've been told not to panic and this is just routine investigation but the longer I wait, the more I'm worried.

I've convinced myself I have cancer, I've even told my dad I think I do.

I just don't know what to do, if it is cancer I want treatment now but I'm still awaiting results of tests. I'm guessing the next test will be a CT or PET scan if something is shown abnormal.

Will the chest xray show blood cancer if its spread?

  • Hello Fluffybearx, 

    It has been such a stressful time for you and I hope that you will get some definite answers soon. You did well to go back to the GP and I am glad that they have taken things seriously and are being thorough and did that chest X-Ray. It must be a worrying time for you but try if you can not to anticipate what it might be as there are a number of things it could be other than cancer. It's good that they are doing investigations and it won't be too long now until you get some definite answers. It's really important while you are waiting to find out more to stay well away from the temptation to look things up online or it will make your anxiety worse and it will tell you things that will petrify you like what you read about if it's spread to lymph nodes that it's already in stage 3. Try not to panic as you have been advised - I know it's easier said than done but treat it as a routine investigation and at least you are going through all the necessary tests to find out exactly what it is and I am keeping everything crossed for you that it turns out to be nothing of concern. I am not sure what the chest X-Ray has been ordered for and what it could flag but this is something you could perhaps ask your GP I am sure they will be able to tell you more about this. 

    I hope that you won't have to wait too long for all your test results and that you can get a diagnosis and treatment very soon. As you are anxiously waiting for answers - and this is really the hardest thing as many of our members will know too well - I thought I would share with you these helpful tips to help you cope while waiting for important news. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator