So I posted anonymously on a local woman's community page. I posted about my concerns and a lady who actually runs the clinic reached out. I messaged her and explained my concerns. She was really lovely. She kindly looked at my images from previous scan and basically said she can’t be 100% but she feels reassured by the images I have a fibroadenoma but to possibly expect a biopsy tomorrow as it common practise as I’m 32. I hope it turns out well girls  how is everyone? Xx

Hello lovely. Im so pleased this lovely lady has managed to give you some reassurance. Please take in her words and know that we are all here for you... You are stronger than you think and you can do this. Sending hugs xxx

This all sounds so familiar to me. Ive had crippling health anxiety and mental health issues since mum died. She was so sick and i saw it all. I think one minute im 'cured'..when i have good or positive days ir a spring in my step but then freeze.. cant get my coat off, physically talk, cry, lose appetite, fear everything thing, thought, feeling, others, my pets passing. Had all the therapy, Cbt, meds, counselling i could and then something triggers the cycle all over again. Having covid four times i worry has affected my brain (really!!) , my lungs, my blood, everything. And then boom. Im ok again fir a few days. I wanted to think perimenopause was the cause of it all.. in my job, Im an actress, nurse, counsellor, everything for the young children and to be honest, they are sometimes my therapy! 

I guess what Im trying to say is, there's nothing to feel bad about...you are riding this very stressful journey (life!) And i just get an intuitive feeling that you are an amazing, strong soul with the biggest heart. You care so much for others, that it's no wonder you are petrified of losing them! Sometimes i know all too well, that it feels like you're fighting a losing battle. You deserve everything good coming your way...hang on to the positives and know you can get through this. 

I honestly couldn't have coped without this chat. You girls have kept me going...and youll never know how grateful I am for that. Its a scary world. So, thank you xxx

Danni you’ve set me off! Thank you so much for your kind words. All I want in life is the people I love to be happy and healthy and it really upsets me that we don’t have much control in life and how things change. I can’t seem to process this sometimes. Maybe it’s a trauma thing because you want to cling on to happy times. You are a truly remarkable woman too danni. Like bubbles I don’t know you but can sense you are a kind, sensitive soul, with a big heart. I think we’ve been drawn to each other for a reason! I will update you tomorrow about the clinic. Feeling uneasy about potentially having that biopsy but eh if they can at least reassure me they agree it all seems innocent it will calm me to an extent xxx

I’ve always needed reassurance that everything is ok and things are fine. It’s difficult when your programmed like that because sometimes you can’t get guarantees. That makes the cycle worse.  You’d think at 32 I’d somewhat at least have my *** together by now but far from it lol xx

Thank you so much for your kind words, I really appreciate that :) 

Thats a good way of putting it with the anxiety. My husband is always saying to me you only see black or white and nothing in between. We can’t help it though, I think it’s just a personality trait! 

it’s weird as the boob is sometimes less red. Then back to red, the inside itch is horrible and sometimes the orange peel skin is there and other times not. It’s all very confusing.

The biopsy would be good I think so you know no stone has been left unturned so to speak. Will be thinking of you xx

That sounds reassuring that it’s not always present bubbles. Surely it would be constant if it were anything untoward. Yes your right about the biopsy, it’s just going to be a long wait again. But with my anxiety it may be the only thing to squash my boob concern. Thank you I will keep you updated. My hearts pounding thinking about it! Xx

Hello Nhj91,

I hope you managed some sleep last night .ill be thinking of you today and sending lots of luck and positive vibes. Soon you'll have more definitive answers! 

Sending love and hugs xxx

Ah unfortunately it’s always there just not as red, I can feel it and I’ve just realised it’s the same boob I had thickening in a year ago :( 

anyways! Good luck this morning sending you lots of luck and positivity xx

Hello ladies! I agree...i would be trying to think that if these boob symptoms were not consistent, that is it possible it isn't cancer? I would presume that with the orange peel and redness/ itching coming and going, that it wasn't?...it must be an awful game with your thoughts though, when the symptoms come and go like that!xxx

Good morning all! Hope you are all feeling more relaxed . I still don’t know what to do about this NHs appointment next week. I am going to have to call the GP again and ask for bloods for this constant dehydration. I can’t help but worry it’s all connected :(

Hey danni. How you doing? Did you speak to the GP? Did you make a decision on the nhs app? I would still keep it and it’s closer than the other one.xx

Hey danni. How you doing? Did you speak to the GP? Did you make a decision on the nhs app? I would still keep it and it’s closer than the other one.xx

Morning! How are you? Do you feel more relaxed? I’m thinking the same, I think I have to go to the NHs one as it’s in a week. I’ve woken up in a bad headspace. The internal itch when I press on the boob or lean on it is giving me great concern. Need to keep my head out of the ICB route and try to stay sane for the week x

Sorry was meant to say bubbles xx 

Morning bubbles. I’m not to bad just struggling with my head. I think I’ve definitely got ocd I can’t stop checking for symptoms it’s really distressing as it’s constant. I’m sorry the hear your not great. Have you got any plans today to keep busy? I truly feel for you because the wait is awful. Sending you love xxxx

Sorry to hear that Nhj91, it really is mental torture isn’t it.

ive lost the plot and called the private clinic. I’ve cancelled the lady specialist who I was waiting for and have now got an appointment on Tuesday afternoon

i can see it looks worse daily and I have a horrible feeling my gut is correct on this one. Terrified 

I’m so pleased you’ve got an appointment Tuesday. Please try and remain positive there are other benign issues it could be. I know it probably seems ages away but Tuesday will come around fast. You can do this bubbles xxxx

Thank you so much, can’t stop crying today x

I’m always here for you. I’m forcing myself to at least go for a drive today. I feel so guilty still feeling down but this has all been underlying for months before this scare. Feel like im going nuts lol xxx

Thank you so much, it’s means so much that you are still thinking of me when hopefully you are moving on. Do you have any plans for the weekend? Some normality for you? Xx

The wait is horrific and I really feel with you on the wait to get answers. It’s so hard I know but try not to think of the worse as there are more benign causes  than bad. 

I forced myself out to see a friend and I’m at my mums at the moment with my twin nephews and sister. I’m trying to break the cycle of compulsively checking my boobs which is hard as my brain has made it a routine now. I’ve had my anti deppresents upped so I’m trying to be patient and ride it out. I’ve decided I’m going to wait for the discharge letter from the clinic and decide after that based on her comments and weather she fully acknowledged my previous scan weather to get another opinion. If she acknowledges the image I showed her I will leave it. I’m bloody nuts lol rationally she most probably has and I’m being my usual worrier self. Xx

How are you doing Nhj91 x