I have no idea what I’m looking for writing this post but I am absoloutley riddled with anxiety! I’ve suffered with extreme health anxiety for ten years - 8 years ago I discovered a lump on the back of my neck which I thought was my occipital gland swollen - it’s maybe 2cm by 1cm.

I went to the out of hours dr straight away and she told me she’s not worried at all and due to the nature of my job she actually thinks it’s muscular due to neck strain as it’s lower than the occipital. She explained that a cancerous lymph node does not hide and it would be the size of a golf ball - tennis ball in some cases! 

I went on with my life and I would occasionally start to obsess over the bump but found comfort knowing it’s not changed size and I don’t have any night sweats, weight loss etc etc 

Recently I’ve started obsessing again 8 years later!! But thought today that’s it!! I’m contacting the dr and going back in my anxiety medication as I can’t keep worrying about this stuff!! I contacted my dr and got an appointment an hr later the woman on the phone sounded worried as soon as I mentioned lymph node swollen for 8 years. 

I enter the room and it’s a new dr - he was really nice and let me explain about my anxiety and then said “let me feel this lump” he had a feel and said “we’ll there definitely is a lump and I’m surprised it’s not been investigated sooner (my heart sank) but he then went on to explain that the fact I’ve had it for 8 years makes it extremely unlikely that it’s anything sinister and he doesn’t think it’s a lymph node either and then said “but I’m nosey and I’d like to see what it is”

I must have went grey because he proceeded to explain over and over again that he doesn’t think it is anything sinister and when I leave the room he’s not wondering what the lump is - he’s simply nosey and wants to give me some reassurance.

So now I have 6 weeks of absolutely turning my brain upside down convincing myself that they’re going to scan it and find cancer and I’ve probably left it too long and it’s spread throughout my body! I’m terrified 

I’m a father of three and always need to put on a brave face but my anxiety is out of control and im terrified this is cancer and im going to leave my family behind. 

as I say I have no idea what im looking for here maybe a bit of reassurance if some had been through similar ?

I desperately want to believe my dr but im just so worried.