This is my first post and I'm not really sure why I'm writing it - I think I just need to get my thoughts written down.  My husband noticed a lump in his neck just below the ear in early September, he was a bit under the weather at the time so we put it down to an infection.  Luckily, I made a GP appointment for him then as they couldn't see him for 4 weeks.  GP said he didn't think it was anything to worry about but referred him to hospital and since then, things seem to be escalating.

He was seen at ENT and had an endoscopy which was normal (apparenlly - they didn't tell us this but it's mentioned in one of the follow up letters) and told ultrasound and biopsy needed.  We didn't hear anything for 2 weeks so chased and got an appointment a month after his initial appt.  When he had the biopsy, the consultant said he would see him in 2 weeks but wanted him to have CT and MRI.  Since then he's also been called in for a PET-CT - at this time he was told the biopsy was inconclusive but no-one's really explained anything.

We got a copy of the consultant letter sent to his GP today and it's sent me spiralling.  I think it's just confirming the above but it mentions the ultrasound was abnormal and the lump has features of metatstasis.  

He seems to be coping ok waiting for a firm diagnosis but I am falling apart.  I keep crying everytime we get hospital letters and all I can think of is that I might lose him.  I think he's getting a bit annoyed with my reaction but I'm just so scared.  I think the main issue is no-one tells you much at the appointments but then you get a letter which has formal medical terms in it.

Thanks fo reading if you've made it this far!