I'm struggling to understand this. Abscesses aren't diagnosed through touch, they're diagnosed via x rays and can sometimes be seen visually in the mouth. But the visual thing is only if the infection happens to have taken that path. So your dentist went about it the correct way. What makes you think it isn't an abscess if s/he is telling you it is? Because it's not sore? Not all abscess are sore, and there's not always pain. The pain comes when they stop draining. So if the infection is draining, you'll not necessarily feel anything.

Abscesses should up as a radiolucency on the xray, usually at one of the root tips. Was there a dark mark, usually a circle at one of your root tips?

No there was no abscess on the root tip he said abscess before even taking the x ray 

the lump is felt on the very bottom of my jawbone like it is attached to the bone goes slightly under the chin, feels big and is solid, the dentist did not feel the lump on my jawbone and he only took an X-ray of the tooth which he showed and said there was a mild infection I saw that but no actual abscess anywhere 

Ok, full disclosure, i worked in a dental setting for years, and if an infection shows up on xray, it's usually an abscess or osteomyelitis (infection of the jaw bone). Has osteomyelitis been mentioned? That kinda needs treated, and don't get why a dentist would just send you away if he said there was an infection.

If i were you, i'd go back to the dentist and ask exactly what that infection is. Jaw or tooth infection simply don't get better on their own. With a tooth, that is the source of the infection, so it either needs removed or root canalled. Osteomyelitis is a bit more serious insofar as treatment is concerned. That usually requires around a month of antibiotics, depending on the severity of it.

From everything you are telling me, this is sounding like an infection. Infections cause lumps, whether it from an accumulation of pus, or swollen lymphs. If you're still unhappy with him brushing you off, either get a second opinion or ask to be referred to an oral surgeon because of that is an infection in your jawbone, and it ain't coming from a tooth, it needs to be treated or you risk your jaw rotting away.

None of this is said to frighten you, but going purely by your description, you need to see an oral surgeon, then if it turns out to be non dental in nature, he or she will advise you on where you need to be. As you've found out, gp's tend not to get involved with anything dental or suspect dental until told otherwise.

No thank you for being honest I had an idea it might be or could be serious if it’s an infection and it’s causing a lump there - my normal dentist leave recently so I don’t know my new one very well he never mentioned osteomyelitis

I’ll try and get a second opinion because the dentist wants to wait 3 months (I had a tooth out recently on my upper teeth and not sure if that’s why)  I was also on antibiotics endlessly for months due to multiple infections (pregnancy, surgery, tooth, ect) had a chest x ray for a long term cough,  I have severe folate deficiency, high risk hpv and I have a problem where my throat constantly feels irritated wouldn’t say sore but my last dental infection I had caused a lot of pain and was upper infection it may have spread to my jaw I did have some severe pain across the whole side of that mouth that went away when my tooth was removed but I would also have no idea how long the lumps been on my jaw I don’t really check my body much which doesn’t help - I only noticed after my son accidentally hit me there 

Either way thank you so much and I will see an oral surgeon and call the dentist asking for a second opinion and maybe get them to actually feel the lump I probably don’t think abscess as the ones I normally get are very soft and this feels solid 

No thank you for being honest I had an idea it might be or could be serious if it’s an infection and it’s causing a lump there - my normal dentist leave recently so I don’t know my new one very well he never mentioned osteomyelitis

I’ll try and get a second opinion because the dentist wants to wait 3 months (I had a tooth out recently on my upper teeth and not sure if that’s why)  I was also on antibiotics endlessly for months due to multiple infections (pregnancy, surgery, tooth, ect) had a chest x ray for a long term cough,  I have severe folate deficiency, high risk hpv and I have a problem where my throat constantly feels irritated wouldn’t say sore but my last dental infection I had caused a lot of pain and was upper infection it may have spread to my jaw I did have some severe pain across the whole side of that mouth that went away when my tooth was removed but I would also have no idea how long the lumps been on my jaw I don’t really check my body much which doesn’t help - I only noticed after my son accidentally hit me there 

Either way thank you so much and I will see an oral surgeon and call the dentist asking for a second opinion and maybe get them to actually feel the lump I probably don’t think abscess as the ones I normally get are very soft and this feels solid