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I am scared I have breast cancer

EveK3990
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Hi, 

I have noticed about a week ago that the skin on both my breasts has changed, with what looks like small pits having appeared all over.

I am scared it may be orange peel. I don’t particularly feel a lump, but my breasts are large so I am not sure I am palming correctly. And my left has been quite bigger than the right for quite a while now.

For a week I tried to convince myself that it may not be much, but I could not help myself and Googled a little bit and now I cannot help but think I may have something really serious as I seem to fall in

the category for IBC.

I am going to have an appointment early next week with my GP, hoping to get a referral as soon as possible.

I am really scared, I live alone abroad and I don’t really have any friends.
I thought of telling my family, but I already had a scare a couple of years ago which thankfully at the time didn’t turn out to be BC.
So I don’t want to tell them until I know for sure it is something.

I also feel so ashamed, I am overweight and I have been treating myself and my body so badly for the past five years, it feels like I did this to myself and deserve it.

  • Offline

    No one deserves to feel how you feel at this current moment. And you’ve been treating yourself because you deserved it and why should you not? 

    I am currently awaiting a further appointment so probably in the same headspace as you. However, as scary as it is, you need to face it head on. I’m thankfully no expert in this field but early detection is better than being avoidant and regretting what you could have taken lead in. 

    if you don’t mind me asking, where do you live? 

  • Offline in reply to kmills2017

    I have not been in the best headspace for the past few years and feeling like I have no one I have not been treating myself well, so I can’t help but blame myself a little bit. 

    But I’ll do my best to stop doing that, and despite being afraid, face it head on as you said.

    I don’t mind at all, thank you for asking, I live in London, 

    And I hope everything goes well for your next appointment 

  • Offline in reply to EveK3990

    Hi EveK,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am sorry to hear about your symptoms, but you are doing the right thing by getting them checked out. This is always a scary wait and irrespective of the outcome, you'll feel better once you know what you are dealing with. Most people don't tell family and friends until they have a definite diagnosis. Maybe this is just the wake up call you need to start looking after yourself. I was grossly overweight when I was first diagnosed, but have since managed to lose 5½ stones and feel so much better for it, despite now having had 2 bouts of breast cancer. Fortunately, that was all 14 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

    We always advise people to steer clear of google at this stage. Much of the content is aimed at the more spectacular cases. It doesn't give us any answers and 0nly serves to scare us even further. Once you have seen your GP, it usually takes about 2 weeks from the date of referral, to get an appointment at the breast clinic. I see that you have already had a scare and been fortunate enough to get the all clear - let's hope that it's the same this time around.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine,

    Thank you for your warm welcome and for sharing,

     I will steer clear of Google while I wait for my appointments and a definite diagnosis, and will keep in touch as I go along.

    Thank you again for your encouraging words,

    Kind regards 

    Eve

  • Offline in reply to EveK3990

    Hi Eve,

    Please remember that you are never alone, now that you have found this forum. We are always here for you.

    I look forward to hearing how you get on.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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