Hi Lofty,

When I had my ultrasound, mammograms etc, they didn’t give me any indication as to whether they suspected cancer or not. I was just called to make an appointment for the results about ten days later. Having said that, between that phone call and the results, they then booked me in for an MRI, so it was pretty obvious then that it was malignant. 

I really hope that you have a good outcome from your tests. Wishing you lots of love and luck for whatever lies ahead xx

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis GoonerGirl68  I hope things can be sorted for you and you’re feeling ok. Did you receive a call or letter to book in for MRI and how soon after clinic appointment was this? Lay here wide awake at 4am. Xx

Hi Lofty,

All of my appointments have been booked by phone-  the postal system here is so bad at the moment that of they sent a letter it would probably arrive too late for the appointment! 

i got a call to go for MRI about ten days after my ultrasound and biopsies. At that point I had not had the results, 

All of the waiting really is the worst thing, as your mind runs riot. I’ve had a lot of trouble sleeping at night, especially since the diagnosis, and so have started listening to a meditation on my phone (on a free app) which has helped. 

xx

hi GoonerGirl68 I’m not suprised you’ve had trouble sleeping since you’ve been diagnosed. It’s so hard not to think and your mind definitely runs riot worse at night as everything is so quiet and you tend to over analyse. I’ve been wide awake since 4pm and was waking prior to that so may try the meditation app. Thanks for the suggestion. 

I can’t shift the feeling of how much more sympathetic the consultant was after the scans and how he took more time with me. The time before in January was definitely more positive. They said they are confident and just need the biopsy to confirm but this time it was your mind will now play tricks on you but the reality is there are areas of concern and you’ve had biopsies. When the results come back we will know more. 

anyway just going into work with swollen eyelids and that feeling of if anyone says are you ok I think I might break down but I know it’s for the best. Odds are in my favour right. 

I honestly can’t believe how kind and brave you girls who have had been diagnosed are. You are all there to give advice and be there for others. Very selfless and inspiring. Thank you xx

Hi Lofty,

I hope you have managed to get through your work day.

I don’t think I’m particularly brave - I certainly don’t feel it at the moment- but everyone here has been so kind and helpful to me, so I try to be the same wherever I can xx

Gooner 

how are you feeling my lovely you had any dates yet , I’ve missed a few posts as I e been in Spain last week back to the rain in Uk today and catching up properly xx 

Hi Lara,

I’m feeling pretty low to be honest. Mastectomy booked in for next Tuesday, 24th, and I’m acutely aware of every day passing. I feel as though I’m still in a state of shock and disbelief at what has happened in the last month.

Hoe are you? I hope you had a good time in Spain xx

I’m glad you’ve got a date Gooner but sad you have to even go through that. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now but hopefully you can take some comfort in knowing this is the start of ridding your body of it. Sending hugs your way xx

Gooner 

im

so sorry you are feeling low , it’s just such a up and down situation, my operation was only 9 days after diagnosis so I don’t think I had time to process what was happening Lookikg bsck it went so quick , I do feel for you having the masectomy as we are women after all and it’s the side we have to consider of how we are going to look and our boobs are part of who we are so to speak , It’s a totally new world for us. I’m white big chested my lump was small but still now my one boob is bigger in comparison you can’t notice with bra on but undressed it’s very noticeable.  , but after all this you will definitely get back to your normal mindset it doesn’t feel like it ever will but it sure do xx will it be a day surgery for you ? 

Gooner 

im

so sorry you are feeling low , it’s just such a up and down situation, my operation was only 9 days after diagnosis so I don’t think I had time to process what was happening Lookikg bsck it went so quick , I do feel for you having the masectomy as we are women after all and it’s the side we have to consider of how we are going to look and our boobs are part of who we are so to speak , It’s a totally new world for us. I’m white big chested my lump was small but still now my one boob is bigger in comparison you can’t notice with bra on but undressed it’s very noticeable.  , but after all this you will definitely get back to your normal mindset it doesn’t feel like it ever will but it sure do xx will it be a day surgery for you ? 

Hi Lara,

I am scared how I’m going to feel about my body. Every day I look in the mirror and can’t believe I’m going to not look like this a week from now- not that I’m one to flaunt my body, but you know what I mean! 
I’m scared about all sorts of things to be honest. My friends keep telling me I’m one if the strongest people they know etc etc, but they aren’t seeing the way I’m falling apart. I know I’ll be ok in time, but at the moment I’m worried and scared about everything to do with the surgery and after. 
Yes- it’s a day surgery, which is good I think. Better to be home in my own bed xx

Gooner 

mtrs I no exactly what you mean my hubby my friends were like you got this you ate strong but deep down like you said I was confused angry scared then next day I’d be ok then next a mess , and yes sane as me I’m 49 I’m not co concerned about low tops ect now but it’s still our womanism and it’s part of us , part of our make up , but we have been unlucky but lucky we have found the monster and getting rid of it , I must say when I woke up after operation I did feel w sense of relief that the cancer was gone xx 

I’m glad you felt like that when you woke up- I hope I feel the same. I’d feel better if I knew there wasn’t going to be any chemo- until then I think I’ll still be anxious xx

Gooner 

yes i understand cause they change Thor minds it’s not fair I understand this too , because once you have a plan you get your mind focused on this , everytine I had a appointment things changed no chemo , chemo  no chemo it’s a rollercoaster, but until they send off your node biopsy at operation I don’t think they no until results come back themselves, but they won’t give chemo unless its absolutely necessary , the day I was told no chemo after my 2 nd operation removing all.nodes in my arm , I had a massive party , try not to worry to much easier said than done I no xx I also demanded the Oncotype DX test as this gives you a score I wasn’t having any chemo without this test but lucky it come back with a low score you can request this test too x 

love Lara xx 

Awww Gooner. It must be so hard to know when you look in the mirror it will be different and no matter what people say it’s how you feel that matters. So much can be done these days though so once things settle for you hopefully you will be able to take comfort in knowing that you are super brave and strong. You’ve got this!!! 

what date is the surgery?

lots of love xxx

Thanks Lofty.

My surgery is on Tuesday 24th. I can’t wait to get it over with, but am dreading it at the same time- if you know what I mean. Obviously I don’t really want it at all! 

Im glad things are looking positive for you xx

I hope you have lots of support around you. WoW Tuesday. I’ll be thinking of you. Your emotions must be all over the place Gooner. Xx

Thank you. It all feels a bit surreal if I’m honest. I’ve had a busy work week but have now finished until I’ve recovered from the surgery. Work has provided some normality but now that’s finished it’s all feeling more scary. 
I’ve been sent 3 lots of flowers by friends in the last couple of days. My lounge is like a florist! It’s all very weird , especially because physically I feel completely normal xx 

Work definitely does provide some normality and hopefully as soon as you’ve had your surgery you will be in a better place to move forward. Take one day at a time. 

sounds like you have some lovely friends. Have you not been run down or picking colds etc up regularly? 
xz

Gooner 

so lovely you had flowers , just wait till you have your op your house will be full mine was like a flower shop so lovely of people thinking of us , but since then I can’t have a fresh flower in my house lol it just reminds me of that time of my life isn’t it strange how things work like that xx hope you have a great weekend do spoil yourself now it’s you time for next few weeks lovely xx