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Referred for a 2 week appointment to Dermatologist

MattS
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Hi, I (30M) noticed a weird spot on the top of my back a few months ago and after keeping an eye on it for a while I decided a week ago that I should go get it checked. I sent pictures to my GP, who called me in for an appointment a few days later. I had that appointment yesterday and after showing them a few spots/moles I was worried about, they said 2 looked ok but they were going to refer me on the 2 week urgent appointment for cancer route for one of them as the mole has some weird colouring in it and is 6mm across.

Obviously I know this is standard procedure and it's most likely nothing to worry about, but I have a 2 year old at home and my mind has gone to all sorts of places. I don't generally suffer from anxiety on a day to day basis but when things happen I am the type of person who immediately becomes negative and starts preparing for the worst. I'm going through moments of feeling ok and thinking it'll be nothing to worry about and moments where I'm in tears worrying and thinking of silly scenarios in my head if it goes bad.

Has anyone got any tips on how to calm yourself and think positively? My Fiance is going on holiday with her friend tomorrow until Tuesday, so the next 4 days it's just me and my daughter which will keep me busy. but I know there's going to be moments I'll look at her and just get upset. 

Also, my partner suffers with severe anxiety and depression, and I want to be strong for both of our sakes, if she sees me worried and scared then it'll make her really bad.

Thanks in advance to anyone who replies or has any advice, I know I'm probably just being silly as it's only a referral at this point, but I don't really have any friends to vent this to and get my feelings out.

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    Hello MattS, 

    You're doing the right thing in coming here as you are feeling the need to get your feelings out and so many members of our community will have been in a similar place before, gone through a similar process and will know how you are feeling at the moment. You did well to get that spot checked as well as all the moles you were concerned about - this is absolutely the right thing to do when you notice changes to moles or spots. It is indeed standard procedure and it's good that they have referred you and all you can do really at the moment is wait and hopefully it won't be long until you get your appointment and get some clarity and answers. It's completely normal when waiting for tests, appointments and results for our mind to go into overdrive and anticipate the worst. This is a time when it's best to try and resist the urge to look anything up on Google as it will never give you satisfactory answers and will make you even more anxious. There are very helpful tips on this page to help you cope while waiting for important news which I hope will give you some good strategies for the next few days. 

    Focusing on looking after your little one in the next few days is an excellent idea as children live so much in the moment and know how to keep us entertained and on our toes so it will no doubt be a very busy few days while your partner is away. Try to look at your little girl and just think of the moment, getting through each day and having fun with her. I know it's easier said than done as this wait is such an anxious time but hopefully it won't be long now until your dermatology appointment. 

    I hope you will hear from others who've been in a similar situation before and that they will come and share their experiences with you. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi Matt,

    Lucie has given you great advice. I just wanted to add that 75% of patients referred to dermatology receive a clean bill of health so the odds your mole is benign or dysplastic (precancerous) are high. Keep busy whilst awaiting your appointment and keep us updated as to how you get on. Good luck,

    Angie, Stage 3 melanoma patient since 2009

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    Thank you to Lucie and Angie whose comments were very helpful and helped put my mind at ease, I managed to largely put it out of my mind after a couple of days worrying but have just contacted the Hospital as it's been over a week since my referral and I was told to call them if I hadn't heard within 5 working days. I was told that they're actually running at a 6 week wait time at the moment because they're so busy, they said to expect to get a call in 4 - 5 weeks. This has triggered my anxiety again and made me very worried that it could be left 3x longer than what is recommended for a so called "urgent referral".

    I'm debating going private for an initial assessment just to at least get some clarity and hopefully put my mind at ease but I was wondering before I do that, does anybody know whether a consultant would have looked at the pictures sent by GP and decided I can go to the back of the list as it doesn't look that bad? Or is it a 6 week wait time before anyone even looks at anything? If it's the latter I'll probably go private for a consultation just to know what it is as I don't know if my nerves can take 6 weeks without having a clue what is going on.

    Thank you.

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