Did you have a sore throat or anything like that prior to your lump, Iv got ongoing problems with my tonsils and each them it gets bad my Lymph nodes swell up and I can feel them through my skin and it’s always on the same side of my infection started in my right moved to my left. After a course of antibiotics they do go down well I’m hoping they go down because I can’t feel them but because of the ongoing tonsil issues Iv convinced myself I have cancer and I have 2 kids 5 year old and 2 year old and I’m so scared. Was refered to ent he had a look gave me more antibiotics and sent me for mri had it on Friday just waiting for results so scared. 

Hello, I’m sorry that your worried - it’s an absolutely awful time isn’t it - and there’s nothing any one can say to help reassure you - I think it’s in our nature to fear the worst especially when we have children. 
I ended up going to A&E yesterday - I had an absolute panic and anxiety attack in work and had to leave and got my husband to take me to hospital. My anxiety was so bad I couldn’t take anymore and needed to see a doctor straight away. 
I saw a lovely doctor who checked me over - I told him my worries that I thought I had cancer and he felt my neck and told me my lymph nodes aren’t enlarged, that sometimes people can feel them and that the one I was most worried about wasn’t over a cm, which was astounding to me as I’d convinced myself it was. He said that just because you can feel then doesn’t mean they are enlarged. So try to feel reassured! They swell when we are poorly and if you are having recurrent tonsillitis it’s likely this is the cause ! 
I was due a private ultrasound tomorrow but after checking me over he said he was pretty certain that I was okay ans I didn’t have any red flags. You have a sore throat too so that would indicate your lymph nodes are fighting something and doing their job xx

Oh that sounds so reassuring I’m so happy for you. Honestly anxiety is killing me my Gp wanted to prescribe me medication but I declined as I feel like it’s always heightened when it comes to Health cares I think once I’m told whatever is going on with me I would relax. My husband just plays the husband role of stop stressing and constantly looking down your throat and wait for your results. Ye a easier said than done . Although deep down I know his right stressing over the results won’t change the results what’s there is there. It’s trying to occupy my mind and not think about it all is the issue, it’s hard to distinguish what is real symptoms to what is anxiety caused especially at the ones that are not noticeable. I think this time round where I don’t have a sore throat and the only symptom I have is lump behind my tonsil and occasionally feeling of something stuck in my throat again possibly the anxiety is scarying me….  Wish it was all over so I can just get back to normal life taking a toll On my mental health :( 

I have also felt weirdness in my throat like I can’t swallow and something is there, and one side feels different to the other - I have read when you have anxiety you are over sensitised and every little thing you feel. X the mental health is yeh worst mine is rock bottom x

I have also felt weirdness in my throat like I can’t swallow and something is there, and one side feels different to the other - I have read when you have anxiety you are over sensitised and every little thing you feel. X the mental health is yeh worst mine is rock bottom x

Yes I think I’m going to have to talk to a professional because my husband is on the verge of divorcing me because it’s all I think about funny not funny. My friends are being supportive but don’t want to dampen their mood constantly my kids help keep me distracted for a little while and then guilt fills me up of thinking what will happen if I’m gone. Need to just take each day as it comes and relax going through all these emotions and nothing has been diagnosed yet. Yes you’re right Google is the devil itself, most of my anxiety stems from Google search engine.  I hope we all find our answers soon and put all this behind us xxx

Honestly google is the worst possible thing but it also so addictive. I find myself down serious rabbit holes. 

I've had CBT therapy for health anxiety so been trying to use that but when you have a physical symptom is just so hard.

Do you have any scans or anything coming up Sweet?

Yes and sometimes they never go down - mine never has - or has it always been there I don’t know ! You’re right Nic once you have a symptom that’s it isn’t it - you become wholly focused on that and all the things it might be and it’s just the worst. My husband had to tell me off for challenging the doctor when I said ‘but google said ‘ and the doctor just said to me ‘in my professional opinion’ at which point I was like okay I will listen. I also can’t help but feel was he just trying to reassure me and for me off but am trying not to think that way !my anxiety stems from me losing my mum and grandma to cancer - I was pregnant when my mum dies suddenly not from the cancer but a cardiac arrest so I wasn’t expecting it. I at least thought she’d meet my baby. I don’t think for me I have grieved and from my last experiences I just think the worst all the time. 
I hope you both get some reassurance from your scans - and can get back to enjoying our children and lives. Xx

Iv had CBT after the birth of my son because it was so traumatic and during lockdown but I got over it quickly and self discharged myself didn’t really find it useful over the phone to be honest thanks covid! That was in 2020 since then Iv been well had few issues with daughter who had infected ezcema tackling her strep on her skin at the beginning of the year for liek 4months hard time was really scared incase she gets sepsis and then just as I cleared her up it was my turn!! I did get throat swab and that came back as strep so I’m wondering while taking care of her I might have infected myself and bacterial infection I’m told can take months to clear. But that’s just my wishful thinking to deter my mind away from cancer, yes I had a mri on Friday and I desperately tried to get something out of them but had no luck so just waiting on them results really I have another appointment with ENT on the 27th but that was booked before my MRI, if I get a phone call before that about my scan then I’m probably thinking worst case or I’m told by his secretary that he will just talk to me at my next appointment. Just waiting really the annoying part of all this xx 

“My husband had to tell me off for challenging the doctor when I said ‘but google said ‘ and the doctor just said to me ‘in my professional opinion’ This comment actually had my laughing out loud for a very long time because I have done the same hahahah xx 

And I’m sorry about your mum and grandmother that must have been so tough on you especially when you was pregnant. And your right we can’t let this anxiety take over us and just enjoy our children and lives and cross that path when it comes xxx 

Yeah it put me in my place haha ! 

I also had a traumatic birth - I had sepsis twice and at one point I thought I was going to die - luckily they were straight on it and gave me the dettol of antibiotics which saved my life. I don’t think i have ever really had chance to absorb what happened as I couldn’t even think about me as I had a new baby who needed me ! 
I wonder if these experiences add to the anxiety about situations like ours when lots of people would be able to be rational and not think worst case- but when you’ve been through something traumatic it’s really hard isn’t it. 
I also had strep not long after my daughter being born and that was horrific ! Yes I had counselling over the phone and didn’t really find it useful - face to face is much better bloody covid ! 
Strep is bacterial isn’t it so that would explain a lot and is a cause of swollen lymph nodes ! And the MRI will give a better indication of soft tissue so if there is an underlying problem with your tonsils they can have a better idea of the imflamation and maybe whip them out ! I had mine out many monks ago when that’s what they did ! And don’t think a phone call is bad news - my mums consultant would always ring with good news xx

Thank you - it wasn’t great ! It’s hard though isn’t it when the guilt takes over. I was explaining to my husband earlier telling someone with anxiety not to worry is like telling someone with depression to cheer up - it doesn’t help at all xx

Oh wow you had a traumatic birth too, I do believe it plays a huge part prior to my son  being born I never had any health anxiety to the extent that I have today. When my son was born I had emergency c section I was in hospital for 10 days he was in intensive care and I had trouble bringing my blood pressure down I had fluid in my lungs where I couldn’t breath doctors thought I was having a heart attack or developed a blood clot and at the time I had mri scans ECG CTscans and not once did I think or feel I had anything serious I was just going along with all these scans and tests. It wasn’t until they a doctor on shift told me actually you have a blood clot that traveled from your legs to your lungs  and you need to inject yourself for 6months I thought hold on this is serious. Then they would change shifts next doctor would tell me he wants more tests done on me anyways this went on 2 days until the final doctor on shift told me “darling we have exhausted every investigation there is go home you need to rest” I think I had a panic attack  was never told why I couldn’t breath and was on oxygen for 2 days but like the anxiety then was never this heightened and I was going through serious symptoms then I guess I couldn’t dwell on the ifs and what’s because my son was in intensive like you new baby can’t think of anything else apart from baby. Although the surgeons comment as he was stitching me up didn’t help told me if I was any second later basically my son would have died and I would have gone into a seziure and died to, it was only by chance I went to triage. 

but I think your right during the traumatic births we didn’t really have any time to really think about ourselves so we just go on with it for the sake of our newborns. And now as we get older and these health scares arise and we have time to dwell on it it gets out of control and we get obsessive over every little tingle especially  around the area that we are having problems with. Well fingers crossed for all of usssss and I will keep you all posted about what happens next xxxx got the school run tomorrow better fall asleep well try to xxx

Ahh yeah my labour was horrific to. I also got sepsis. And tbh since my daughters been born my health anxiety has sky rocketed so it makes sense.

Sorry to hear you've both gone through so much!

Absolutely dreading tomorrow. I've never been so scared.