Hey everyone,

I made a post on here last time where long story short I did a self examination on my breasts 2 weeks ago and thought I felt something; this was on a Friday and booked an appointment to see the GP on the following Tuesday. I had 2 doctors assess me at the time and they confirmed they felt something, around 1cm located on the outskirts of my areola on my left breast. The doctor then sat me down and said he felt something and will refer me to the Breast Clinic on a 2WW. I started obviously getting really emotional and was crying, the doctor also did say it felt immobile and felt like it was deep inside. He was trying to reassure me that for young women it isn’t always serious and it could be benign. But I was just so terrified and worried, this made me just go down this spiral of constantly checking my breasts and worrying. I became so worried about the dark crease line under my breasts which look red, it’s much darker on my left breast, last week I was worried about a patch of skin and made the dumb decision to rub that part of the skin with an exfoliating skin but the skin became red and irritated. I thought the discolouration would go away and go back to normal but it’s been a week now and it’s still dark but it’s not red no more. 

I went to a different doctor last Monday for reassurance because I was just constantly worrying and crying a lot, this time it was a female doctor who examined me. She examined me sitting up and lying down, she said she wasn’t worried about the patch of skin I rubbed with an exfoliating glove. She also wasn’t worried about the dark crease line under my breast and said it is most likely hyperpigmentation or could be due to heat and chaffing that happens in that area. When she was examining my breasts, she said she couldn’t feel the thing on my breasts I then showed her and she was feeling it around. She said the breasts are very lumpy and that it is most likely very small and doesn’t see it as concerning. She was telling me younger women tend to have lumpier breasts. She said she wasn’t worried about anything at all and that hopefully the appointment would provide me with a sense of calmness until my breast clinic appointment.

I felt like I was doing okay until Friday a couple of days ago when I came back and thought I small a tiny red spot patch on my left breast, it’s very faint and very tiny but obviously this caused me to panic. I tried to convince myself it wasn’t red and it was skin coloured but then I became so worried and fixtated on it again. Fast forward to yesterday and I was such an anxious mess, crying a lot and worrying. I was just been so worried about IBC these past few weeks because of how aggressive it is, I heard that being black and being under 40 increases your risk of it and often times it can be misdiagnosed. My Grandmother had BC, although I don’t know what kind she had but I have seen how it has effected her. It’s such a horrible disease and I really hope one day they find a proper cure for it and all forms of it.

I’ve been praying a lot, praying for the best outcome today; my appointment is approximately in 2 hours and I pray that I can leave happy and relieved after getting the confirmation that it is nothing. I just want to feel at peace; BC is terrifying especially IBC. I always pray that Women who are going through this get the full support and treatment they need to overcome and beat it. 

Please keep me in your prayers today, please pray that everything goes well for me. I just want to feel calm and relaxed.