Hi everyone! 

I posted in here a few months ago about a mole on my inner thigh that I was worried about. In March, I went to my GP (who had a background working in skin clinics). He evaluated my medical history (26 years old, non-smoker, don’t use tanning beds, always wear sun cream, no history of skin cancer in my family etc) and said that my risk was relatively low. He looked at the mole with his little dermascope(?), and then looked at all of my other moles. He said that he didn’t see anything worrisome or concerning with the mole in question.

He also added that for my own peace of mind I can take a photo with a ruler next to the mole, and document the mole every month or so, to examine any changes.

Well, I’ve been going back through my old photos of it that I’ve taken, and it has definitely changed. It hasn’t grown in size, but certainly in colour and perhaps shape too. I think it might have also become more raised than it was. Comparing the photo that I took yesterday to the one I took back in April, it does not look the same. 

(Back then, I did buy a magnifying scope to examine it myself, however I’ve steered clear of using this for now because I end up down a slippery slope of negative and worrisome thoughts). 

I am going to book another appointment this week to see my GP, and I’m going to push for them to biopsy it. I already know that it’s going to come back as melanoma, as I can’t see how it could be anything else. It looks far too suspicious and ominous to be anything good. I was doing fine for a while and not thinking about it, but now that it’s changed, I’m obsessing over it again and in all honesty, I’d rather for it to be gone so I know that it’s not on me anymore.

I guess, the part I’m freaking out about so much is the fact that if it’s changed so quickly in such a short amount of time and it is melanoma, I’m terrified at how quickly it could have spread too. I’m worried it could be in my lymph nodes, or other organs. I know that if it is and has there is nothing I can do about it, but I’m terrified. 

I should mention that I have severe health anxiety due to my mum having three lots of cancer (cervical, and two types of breast cancer) so I often hyperfixate on small things in my body — every ache, pain, twinge etc.