So in early March I noticed some blood when wiping and in stool. Instead of getting it checked immediately, I foolishly decided to wait and just keep an eye on things. Then 2 weeks ago I started developing some pain/pressure around the anal region, along with other things like mild itching, watery leakage, mucus in a bout of diarrhoea, and a week ago started noticing black "stuff" in my stool. Not quite specks. Slightly bigger than that. My bowel movements also haven't felt "normal". Like maybe there's just less or that there's a bit more resistance. But could just be the stress and the fact I've been eating less/skipping meals due to anxiety. 

The long Easter weekend last week was absolute hell as I was driving myself crazy with worry waiting for GP to reopen. Was barely sleeping, having panic attacks, the works. 

Finally got an appointment on Friday and doctor felt around my belly for any pain/lumps, and did a rectal exam. Didn't notice anything concerning. She assumed haemorrhoids as the most likely explanation, and said the black stuff I mentioned was fairly normal, although I didn't correct her when she assumed they were specks, as I thought hey maybe I'm just exaggerating things in my head. But then this morning there was more black substance like stuff and I'm completely freaking out again. 

I have a blood test scheduled for Tuesday and will also be picking up a kit for a stool test while I'm there. It's just all the waiting and worrying that's messing with my head. I'm a fairly anxious person in general, especially with health anxiety. I'm even terrified going to the bathroom because of what I might see. 

Thankfully the other symptoms I had have mostly cleared up, and I've been more or less pain free for 4 days. There's still the occasional bit of pressure when sitting sometimes but just barely. 

I'm 27 so know that cancer is fairly unlikely at my age, but also not impossible, and I'm just having a really hard time trying to stay positive. 

Anyway, if you read all that, thanks for listening to my rambling. I just really needed to vent ️