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Convinced I have bowel cancer

Anxietyaunt90
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Hi everyone,

I feel so stupid doing this when there are so many people worse off than myself but I have convinced myself that I have bowel cancer.

I'm a 33 year old female. I first noticed a tiny amount of rectal bleeding last April. Was only once & didn't notice it again until December where I've had on and off bleeding & for about 7 weeks have had a change in bowel movement. I've been experiencing pellet like stools which can be mixed with a normal stool & occasionally will have loose stools. I went to my GP who treated me for haemorrhoids, she also did an exam, bloods & fit test. All these where normal.

I still had the bleeding & consulted Dr Google (I know this is the worst thing you can do) & have convinced myself I've cancer even though my tests have been normal.

I'm in the lucky position that my husband has medical insurance through work & I knew if I went back to my GP for a referral to the NHS I'd be waiting years.

I saw a colorectal surgeon on 8/3 who carried out another exam & also a small camera test & couldn't see anything but he's referred me for a CT colonoscopy which is on 28/3. He did say he didn't think it was anything but that just went completely over my head.

I suffer from terrible health anxiety to the point that I obsess over things at an extremely unhealthy level & it is completely taking over my life. I have 3 children who I adore & im so scared of leaving them if I am ill or ruining their childhood with my over worrying.

I don't really know why I'm posting here other than I don't want to burden my family with my anxiety & I'm hoping that even just writing this it will help, even if no one reads or responds, just putting it down in writing feels like a weight off my shoulders.

 

Much love & health to you all

 

xo

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    The odds of bowel cancer at 33 and with a negative FIT test are probably so low as to be infinitesmal. Two years ago, at the age of 40, I had ongoing rectal bleeding for months, weight loss, trapped wind and occasional loose stools (maybe once a week) and the doctor said that at my age, the odds of bowel cancer were less than 1% and I'd be "the unluckiest person in the world" if that turned out to be the answer. Given that you are younger than I was and also have a negative FIT test and a small camera test, the odds for you are probably even lower.

    I know that's of limited reassurance as it's hard to avoid thinking of that tiny possibility that it just might be.

    Are you getting any support for your anxiety?

  • Offline in reply to MargaretMary

    Hi MargaretMary,

     

    Thank you so much for your reply & I'm so glad everything turned out ok for you. I know reading back what I'm saying that the odds of there being anything really serious are low however with my current mindset it so hard to convince myself of anything other than negativity.

    I was on medication but it just made me feel worse & my GP never really followed up with me. Hopefully if everything turns out to be ok I will go private & speak to someone & get to the cause of this as it's a truly a horrible way to live.

    I feel so guilty aswell as I've not been diagnosed with anything & here I am worrying myself silly while there are so many others out there really suffering.

     

    Thank you again for your response, it's nice to read other peoples stories who have been in a similar position x

  • Offline in reply to Anxietyaunt90

    Don't feel guilty. I'm in a similar position, I haven't been diagnosed with anything as yet and await a colonoscopy. My mind is working overtime and I wake in the night fearing the worst, it's awful. I've used Dr Google which helps but doesn't help. It would be so lovely just to speak to someone and hopefully my appointment on Wednesday (22nd) will help. So many "worried well " people fearing the worst....the agony of the wait can be unbearable. I agree it's a horrible way to live, I'm now wishing I hadn't taken the two yearly screening test as I would be in blissful ignorance.....guess that's crazy 

  • Offline in reply to IreneX50

    Hi IreneX50,

    I think the wait is definitely the hardest part & the not knowing if there is actually anything to worry about. Although I just know that if everything is ok this time I'll go & find something else to worry about & thus the cycle continues. That's why I perhaps need to try & get my head fixed.

    Please do keep us updated with your appointment, I'm not sure why but there is definitely some comfort in knowing that others understand in some way this feeling. Good luck & much love x

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    Hi, I hope you are feeling better now and you found out the cause of your symptoms. Thank you so much for posting here, it’s the middle of the night and I’m posting here because I have a similar situation to yours. I suffer with health anxiety although this has not been diagnosed. I had a change in my bowel movements for about 4 weeks, including bleeding for about a week which has now stopped. I had a GP appointment, a physical exam, the GP said she isn’t concerned but asked me to do a FIT test. I have pain in my lower back which is something new for me. I feel so guilty for worrying when I know other people are much worse than I am. I also feel bad to speak to my husband about this as in the past I’ve often thought the worst when it wasn’t the case. Like you, if all these symptoms turn out to be caused by something else, I’m planning to see someone regarding my anxiety. I’m 41 years old and I have 2 children and it is very sad and scary to think I won’t be here to see them growing up. All I wanted to say is that your post helped me and made me feel I’m not the only one feeling this way. Thank you 

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