Hello, 

I am sorry to post but I just need to get this off my chest

So l went for a smear on the 16th December,  unfortunately hpv cells were found for the 3rd year running (which doesn't make me feel great as I never knew I had this)

I have my Gynaecology Colposcopy appointment tomorrow and I am not doing well on the inside, on the outside I have to remain up beat and positive. 

I had a partial hysterectomy 10 years ago after a horrid birth so some of the symptoms never registered with me

For the past year I've been getting a clear discharge like a sticky liquid.

Stomach and bloating  I even mentioned this to the doctors that it feels like period pains but was told even after my womb was taken this is normal.

Shingles at the beginning of December whilst I cannt say this is connected new research suggests otherwise.

I am 35  and whilst may not be a factor I've had roughly 20 ct scans (I truly had a bad birth, life of death) countless xrays and further radiation concentrated withing the lower parts area. 

I am freaking out whilst I was told it was inevitable with the radiation eventually,  it always feels further in my future than now.

I apologise about the ranting I'm just scared, not for me I have an 11 year old and I couldn't bear to break the news of the diagnoses is cancer.  And whilst it may not be I just feel as though I cannot escape the inevitable