I had flu in early December 2022 and noticed on boxing day that I had a lump on my left collarbone area and also swollen behind my ear too. I saw a nurse practitioner who said she couldn't feel anything in early January as this was now a month from being poorly with flu and the swollen lymph node was still there. I was poorly again two weeks ago with a kidney infection/diverticulitis the doctor wasn't sure which and treatment was antibiotics. I asked her if she minded checking my lymph node as I have really bad health anxiety and it was worrying me. She looked back over the notes from the nurse practitioner and said she couldn't feel anything. She checked my neck and said she couldn't either. But I can and I can now feel one raised in my elbow and have pain in the top of my underarm just below my armpit which comes and goes  I also notice that my neck feels sore and I've been having trouble with my throat which I have had globus sensation with anxiety before but never with my ear feeling blocked too. I feel like I am being silly to go back as they've both said that they can't feel anything but they also haven't felt in the same place that I've ran my fingers over. I am also worrying that my pressing on it  have I made it stay enlarged and they will think I'm stupid to go back again. My mental health is really low and I can't shake the feeling of something bad. I have a fear of doctors after my son almost died as a baby so suffer with ptsd and I now feel lost and alone in what to do. It has been over 6 weeks since I was ill with flu initially (my cough cleared by Christmas) I am scared and don't know what to do.