Hey everyone,
I'm 24 years old (female) and have recently graduated university. At the end of summer last year I noticed a strange lump just above my collarbone on the right hand side. Initially I assumed it was a swollen lymph node, until it didn't go away for over a month, and seemed to be slowly increasing a bit in size. So of course, I made an appointment with the GP, and it's been the most anxiety inducing few months possible! The GP didn't really say much except that he wanted to refer me for an urgent ultrasound. The radiologist in the ultrasound didn't say much but said he thought I should get and MRI scan. I had a GP give me a ring just before Christmas to tell me to try not to worry too much (impossible for me lol) and he said loads of stuff in doctor language that flew straight over my head. I then had an appointment with an ENT specialist at the hospital who examined me, my ultrasound, and also put that camera thingy up my nose (really can't remember the name). He then referred me to have my MRI, which I am still awaiting results for. I had a letter the other day which was a copy of my report from the specialist to my GP, which said another load of doctor language stuff and also said I'm on the 2WW pathway. This freaked me out as nobody had actually mentioned cancer to me yet (other than when the ENT guy said it 'could' be benign:// cheers mate) and I thought maybe I was just overthinking it all. But now it's honestly spiralled me into panic mode and all I can think about is my health or if I'm going to die. I feel so out of the loop with any indication as to what is actually happening to me. I know I shouldn't but I can't stop googling things and imagining the absolute worse. My biggest fear is dying so I think this is playing a part in my anxiety, but all I want now is some answers. Why is the waiting around so bloody awful? I can't concentrate on anything and I keep having panic attacks. I don't know what I'm expecting from posting this but I just felt the need to rant it all out to people who may have been in my position!!
it's honestly exhausting, any slight pain I now get anywhere on my body I assume is another sign of the cancer spreading. How did people cope with the waiting around?
kay
