Worried about my mum

My mum is in her early 70s and has recently lost a significant amount of weight. She has been feeling more tired than usual for quite a while and complains of lower back and leg pain (she was previously under Rheumatology for arthritis, so could be a flare up), but other than that, no specific symptoms like loss of appetite or abdominal pain. She has had a recurrent cough/cold like symptoms for a few years, but I feel she's not worried about her health, like I am. She has type 2 diabetes and it was the pharmacist at our GP surgery who brought up the weight loss, then booked her in for a telephone call with the GP (which she had today). 

The GP was concerned and is planning to refer her for tests under the 2WW, but has asked her to have blood tests and a FIT test first (she did have a FIT test as part of NHS screening about one month ago, which was negative). Although things are moving along, I'm feeling quite disheartened, as I have been trying to encourage her to take her symptoms more seriously/speak to the GP about them and always offer to speak on her behalf - but she didn't think they were anything to be too concerned about. I'm now worried that it could be cancer and at a late stage, given the weight loss and fatigue. I struggle a lot with anxiety and I'm probably more worried than she is. I know worrying won't solve anything, but I'm already thinking ahead, of 'What if? Then...' scenarios. Would appreciate any advice. 

 

  • Hello whitecrow2905, 

    You seem to have an excellent pharmacist at your GP surgery - it's great they booked her in for a telephone call with the GP and that the GP is being thorough. Don't be alarmed by the fact they have referred her for tests and that things are moving along fast or that she took a long time in talking to a GP about it - at least she is in the best possible hands now and it won't be long until you get some definite answers and some clarity as to what is going on. 

    It's normal to feel really anxious especially during this long waiting phase when you feel a little bit in limbo not knowing what to expect. Try if you can not to think ahead or anticipate what it might be. The 'What if?' scenarios will only make your anxiety worse and make you imagine the least likely diagnosis. 

    The best thing to do to avoid thinking too much about this is to keep busy and distracted if you can and avoid looking things up online. I can imagine it is hard for you to do this at the moment but it will help you feel a little less anxious. There are helpful tips on this page to help you cope while waiting for important news.

    I hope you will also hear from others here who have been through all this before and that they will be along soon to share their story with you. 

    Keeping everything crossed for you that everything turns out fine for your mum and that she finds out more very soon. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator

     

     

  • Hello, thank you for your response and kind, supportive words.

    Yes that's true it's good that things are finally moving along and I'm so glad the pharmacist brought up the issue with the weight loss as I know my mum would not have approached the GP about this herself (or let me discuss it on her behalf). Although I am a bit perplexed as to why the HCA at our surgery (who checks her weight during the Diabetic checks) didn't mention anything, as she had lost 20kg in the space of about 2 months! They always have friendly chats when she attends her appointments, so I'm not sure why nothing was mentioned at the time back in mid December. 

    At the moment, although still worried about the outcome, I'm trying to keep busy/keep my mind on other things, as you have suggested - it's difficult not to think of the worst, but then again, I know I have done my best in trying to help my mum with her health and I can't keep on worrying for her. I still talk to her about her health issues/symptoms, but try not to get frustrated if she doesn't seem as concerned about them. It is the wait that's the hardest part and I am a bit concerned that she needs to have the blood tests prior to the referral, as it just feels like it's adding to the wait, but hopefully it won't be long until she has the further tests/scans.