Hi Jolamine 

Thanks for your message. We'll, mom was so positive then the weekend she had what I can only describe as a bit of a meltdown. After reading all the booklets given to us by the hospital, it scared her and she was so upset. She is doing much better now but it breaks my heart in two that I can't take this away.

Ever since she was diagnosed, it seems to be every advert on TV or radio is about cancer, it's so strange. Absoutley, you do find hidden strengthen. I'm feeling a lot better now. We are still awaiting appointments to come through. A McMillian nurse has called her today so that was good. 

Hope your well 

Mel xx

Hi Mel,

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom's weekend.  We often refer to a cancer journey as a rollercoaster ride, as we're up one minute and down the next. I agree with you about the cancer adverts. We're never really aware of them until, we're hit by it, then they seem endless. It is indeed heartbreaking just having to watch her going through this and not feeling that you can do much, but believe me when I say that your love and support is priceless. 

Did you sit in on the Macmillan nurse's visit or did you leave the two of them alone? Sometimes, you can discover hidden fears that your Mom won't want to upset the family with. It is often easier for her to discuss these with strangers, than close family members. Did your Mom find the visit helpful and are there any plans for the nurse to visit again?

It is always difficult to find the happy balace of cancer knowledge. Some people don't want to know anything and just take all that is given to them. Others, want to know every little detail and, when they do, sometimes decide not to have treatment after all. This can be especially difficult as a carer, as you naturally and selfishly, want your loved one to remain with you for as long as possible, but there is a balance between quantity of life and quality of life. The choice is for your loved one to make and the most unselfish thing that we can do, is to accept their decision. This is of course provided that your loved one is cognisant enough with all that is offered and the possible side-effects. 

When you finally get your Mom's results make sure to ask about the possible side-effects of any treatments offered. You will find it helpful to write a list of questions to take with you to her appointment, as it is always easy to forget something important during a consultation. I do this for every appointment, as questions will change along your cancer journey.

I am keeping as well as I can thank you - and I'm grateful for every new day.

Thinking of you and your Mom.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine 

The nurse called yesterday and had a chat with her. I left them to talk privately so my mom could open up to her. I don't know if there are plans for her to be in touch again so we shall see. My mom did find it helpful, think like you say, speaking to someone who is not in the family circle. 

I have been reading through the leaflets the nurses gave us at the last appointment so I know whatever treatment she has I know what to expect. Everyone we have told (family, friends and work colleagues) have been so lovley. We have so much support so we feel very lucky indeed. 

Thank you for such kind words, it's so comforting. Will keep you updated with the steps. 

Mel x

Hi Mel,

I'm glad to hear that breaking the news to friends and family have gone well and to know that you have a good support network behind you.

It's amazing how much more we reveal when talking to strangers than we do to our loved ones. The Macmillan nurses are excellent, so I expect that your Mom will have found it helpful. I hope that you don't have too long to wait before you find out what the next steps are.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

They have certainly been amazing. All the hospital staff have been great and so kind when we are at our lowest points. 

Hopefully we hear something soon.

Thanks again xx 

Hi 

Just an update. Mom has an appointment next week for the camera down the throat to look at the enlarged node in the chest. Then the beginning of March, we are at the hospital for a pre-op then hoping we get a surgery date. 

I have struggled for a few days. Saying that my mom has cancer is breaking my heart in two. Its absoutley crap but hoping this feeling will pass. 

Mel ️