So cut a long story short, I turned 25 just before covid and lockdowns so all of my smear tests were cancelled. I finally managed to get one at 27 .. already not off to a great start.
Went to my smear test at my GP and all was fine, the nurse was lovely and I had no pain what so ever. Couple of months go by and I get the dreaded letter of abnormal cells, no further information other than they've booked me a colposcopy. Wasn't too nervous as I had done a lot of googling and everyone said it's just like a smear. Boy was I wrong to believe them.
Attended my colposcopy this morning to be greated with the worst experience of my life. Nothing was really explained to me just the typical do you smoke and when was your last period questions. Got changed and then walked into the most intimidating situation ever. 4 women all waiting for me and a chair that I can only describe as what looks like a comfortable electric chair. The nurse laid me back and then the nurse who was doing the procedure just dived straight in. Did not explain a single thing and shouted at me to relax. How on Earth am I supposed to relax when you a) didn't even tell me you were starting and b) didn't let me catch my breath when I was in clear discomfort. The whole thing only lasted about 7 minutes but it felt like a lifetime. I told her I was in so much pain but she just continued. Made me cough about 40 times and I was crying the whole way through. She didn't once stop to ask if I was okay or if I was in pain she just continued and wouldn't listen to me. The second she had done what she needed to she then made me 'push' the speculum out of me and walked out of the room. Not once asked if I was okay or reassured me about anything. I was then left with 2 nurses, one was lovely the other was very judgemental and just told me I should have had some sugar before and I would have been fine.
The whole time I told them all I felt sick and like I was going to faint but not once did she look up or help. The nice nurse gave me some water and offered some sort of comfort but the rest were cold and didn't say a thing.
This experience has genuinely gave me ptsd and is making me emotional typing this out. It was the most painful and traumatic experience of my whole entire life and I'm just really hoping someone else maybe has a similar story so I know I'm not crazy or being over dramatic?
I had a biopsy done and at that point I was so done so I just accepted that I wasn't being listened too and had to have another painful experience. My worry in all of this is, if I need treatment it's going to be just as bad if not worse and I'm terrified of going back.
