Hey everyone 

this is a crazy thing for everyone to be dealing with and it's really refreshing to know that I'm not the only one who thinks they are going crazy . I have spent the last 4/5 weeks thinking can I / can't I see a dent or feel a lump . 
But ,  when I went to my GP appointment the first thing I did when she confirmed the dent and the lump (and something extra) was break down in tears .. I was relieved that I wasn't going mad but also ... my world completely turned upside down and I felt instantly gutted ... 

then the 2 week rule was mentioned and I thought OMG what *#%+... I'm still in shock and a bit numb really . 
 

I hve my appointment on Wednesday and my mind has gone to some really dark places . I have a pregnant daughter and a granddaughter and all I think about this them and swallow massive balls of anxiety at the thought of something sinister . 

all I do at the moment is walk from mirror to mirror looking , checking , feeling ... it's consuming my whole life at the moment and some days I feel ok and then there's moments where im soo down . 
 

this limbo uncertain cloud that is all around me at the moment is terrifying . 
 

I don't know what to expect on Wednesday other than the fact i'm over 40 will Prob be a mammogram and then a huge wait and see . 
 

lots of big breaths and anxiety gulps I should imagine : 

fingers crossed 

XXX