I understand this feeling too! Waiting for biopsy results from a colonoscopy and an appointment with my Consultant to discuss the results over the next couple of weeks. It really does take the joy and excitement away from Christmas. I can barely think of anything else!

I'm receiving my biopsy results on 23rd to confirm wether my lump in my breast is cancer or a fibroademna... I'm beyond panicking and it's totally taking over my life! Feel like I can't concentrate or enjoy anything until I know. I also have two young children... 

im concentrating on Friday/Saturday and Sunday because I know that no matter the results I need to make those days as special as I can for my boys 

It sounds like many of us have appointments on the 23rd. You'll all be in my thoughts. Hopefully we all get good news and can have the merriest Christmas! Please come back with updates! 

Just had a biopsy today on lip now the big wait not feeling xmas at all 

Sending my thoughts to everyone on this thread.  ‍ ‍[@_driftwoodhearts_]‍ ‍ I too am facing an appointment - fast track referral.  I've ongoing investigations all to no avail. We've had a terrible year, we lost 60 year old, otherwise very fit and healthy father-in-law this year after a short but hard battle following an unexpected diagnosis.  And also lost gran (on my wife's side - they were very close). Whilst I have had ongoing investigations (CT's, ultrasounds, cystoscopy, x-rays, various bloods etc), for some time now (and to no avail other than benign liver cysts) I haven't felt like I could talk to my wife about it this past 6 months given the tough time she has had.  I've bottled it up, toughened up as best I can and got on with it. Things were starting to feel better - or perhaps I conditioned myself to believe they had.  The last few weeks haven't been great so I took myself off to the GP on Monday.  They have done complete bloods works and referred me for an emergency gastroscopy at the nearest hospital this Friday 23rd.  I've been told that something is possibly causing blood to get in my digestive system, and I am actually terrified.  The referral is a fast track cancer referral.  I don't want worry my wife or two young children with it - I don't want to ruin their Christmas, so I've told her it is something and nothing. I just hope it is. 

Hi, 

You are not alone and your feelings/fears are completely valid. I'm 41 and naturally a lumpy person (I have various) but in November I noticed changes. I now have what feels like swollen lymph nodes near my right breast to my armpit and a thickening of tissue on the at the top as well as my breast now being bigger....as well as new 2 lumps in that area, one is slightly painful. I am too very anxious and scared, this feels different. Eventhough I was on a fast track 2ww I have finally got my appointment on the 22nd Dec. 

For me, I've been telling myself that as much as my feelings are valid, my thoughts are just that at the moment. Thoughts....we don't have any answers until we are given them, until then I'm trying to do my best to enjoy time with with those in my life and making the most of the day. Cliche I know, but meditation is helping a little too. 

Sending love and strength to you all. 

Xx

Hi Nicola 

I could have written this myself. I have had armpit and left breast pain for a few weeks, I discovered a lump and swelling where my armpit fat is just over a week ago now. It's so painful now, I'm not sure if it's from all the touching I've been doing but I've done less of that in the last two days but it is still very painful. I saw my gp on Monday who said my breast clinic referral will take a while because of Xmas,

so I have  no idea when it is yet. My thoughts are constantly consumed with this swelling/hardness and this lump, I don't know why but straight away I don't just presume cancer , I feel like it's spread and noticing signs all over my body that this may be the case, I hope this is just psychological. I wish you all the best for you appointment. Please check back in. 
 

Claire 

[@Claire-ace] I feel similar, since I had odd symptoms recenlty I feel like I just know - I hope it is pyscholigical.   I had blood tests back to today and GP report says 'No Further Action' regarding bloods - but all these boarderline ones stuck out for me - I just don't what any of it means accompained with constant ache/burning at the top centre of stomach, and dark stools (which seemed to have stopped after aound 5 days). I have Gastroscopy on Friday and terrified - worrying myself silly.

High-end

Serum alanine aminotransferase level (XaLJx) 45 iu/L [5 - 45]

Serum total bilirubin level (XaERu) 19 umol/L [0 - 21]

Serum total protein level (XE2e9) 79 g/L [60 - 80]

Basophil count 0.08 10*9/L [0.02 - 0.11]

Percentage basophil count 1.2 %

Outside reference range

Mean cell haemoglobin level 32.9 pg [27.0 - 32.0]; 

Low-end 

Serum ferritin level (XE24r) 58 ng/ml [14 - 180]

Hi Roygo

I am sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It's awful how the mind just focuses on the negatives isn't it and just focuses on the worst, I think it's human nature for most of us

if it helps I had very similar symptoms last year, also with a feeling something was stuck in my throat. I had a colonoscopy which was clear and the gastroscopy revealed gastritis , once I had my official diagnosis I started to feel a lot better, alongside omeprazole which helped a lot in the long run. I think a lot of it is training the mind.

Although this time I just feel completely doomed, I was so excited for Christmas with my family a few weeks ago but just feel that has been completely taken away now