Hello everyone, I hope you're all doing well. I just wanted to talk about some of my concerns as they have been eating me up. I've been trying to cope and carry on with my A-Levels and uni applications but I can feel myself crumbling.

To give some context, I have always been quite obsessive over my health. My GP has called me a hypochondriac on multiple occasions. I have also had weird gut instincts randomly that usually end up being right. For example, after my mother's colonoscopy a few years back, as much as it terrified me, I knew that I'd end up having one. I've just been referred for a partial left side one (my gastroenterologist's words, I think it may be a sigmoidoscopy?) as a precursor to the full procedure.
 

For some bizarre reason, I have always had some gut feeling that I will get cancer. For a while, I thought it would be breast cancer due to a lump in my breast, but when I was able to move the lump I knew I was in the clear. After doing some research, my gut instinct was that it was a fibroadenoma, and this turned out to be correct. I also had a phase in January where I was convinced that I was going to be diagnosed with something terminal. I no longer believe this but it was absolutely awful. 

I have had blood in my stool on and off since last September, as well as several other symptoms including struggling to digest things, irregular bowel movements (sometimes thin but not always), headaches, losing weight (6kgs over 3 months which isn't much) and constant nausea and loss of appetite. I waited until November to say something out of embarrassment and also because haemorrhoids run in my family, and I was sure that this was what it was.

I was confirmed to have haemorrhoids in December or January, I don't really remember. I also did a stool sample and got a call from my GP saying that I was bleeding from my stomach. This terrified me but no follow up was done so I convinced myself it was a fluke. My symptoms kept worsening even with suppositories and cream and my gut feeling was that there was something else at play here, so I kept calling my GP. I did several more stool samples and had elevated fecal calprotectin levels in almost all of them. After being dismissed because of the haemorrhoids, I was eventually referred to the paediatrician who tested me for coeliac and sent me on my way. The coeliac test came back negative in July. I was meant to be referred to a gastroenterologist but due to being almost 18, I was too old for paediatric and too young for adult so had to wait longer.

I turned 18 in September and was finally referred. My symptoms kept changing and worsening, and I was convinced it was something more serious than haemorrhoids. I had three things that I thought it could be: ulcerative colitis, Crohn's disease or colorectal or bowel cancer (my initial gut instinct, but I was trying to be more rational given that it's super uncommon in my age). After going to my GP for my worsening symptoms, they sent an expedite letter and I was given an appointment for mid-November. I went and the doctor said he suspects colitis but wants to do a colonoscopy just in case. I tried to ask if there were any other conditions it could be but he didn't reply as he was preparing my prescription for colitis medication. He wanted me to start taking it before the scan confirms it but I don't really want to before I am certain.

I'm so sorry for the long rant but I am quite anxious. Has anyone else been diagnosed with or suspected colitis that turned out to be cancer? I know it increases your risks. I'm just so nervous cause my symptoms overlap for all three of these conditions and I really don't want cancer but can't get the thought of it out of my mind. My gut is telling me it's something serious but I don't know what. I've already mentally accepted having cancer but am I being over dramatic? Is anyone else in a similar situation? Any replies would be much appreciated :)