Hi

Apologies in advance because I know there are lots of posts saying similar things but I feel like I'm in limbo at the moment.

I'm based in Scotland and I'm 35. I saw my GP in April about a new, painful breast lump in my left breast. The GP said she was 99% sure it was a cyst and referred me to the breast clinic. I'd already been seen in the clinic 2 years ago because the GP could feel a thickening in the tissue of the same breast. Whilst I was waiting this time to be seen, the pain was quite intense at times, like a burning feeling, short and sharp and then it'd go away. Pain relief didn't really do anything and I was even putting deep heat on it sometimes. 

I was finally seen in the clinic 2 weeks ago where I had an ultrasound, mammogram and biopsy. I felt totally blindsided by it all as wasn't expecting to have all of that done. I feel like I can barely remember anything that was said to me except that it would be 7-10 days for the result. I also remember the radiologist saying that my lump had uneven edges.

After spending 2 weeks tying myself in knots and not able to focus on work, I thought I was finally going to get my results this week but no. I spoke with a breast nurse yesterday, who was really lovely, but who said it was more like at least 2 weeks for results. I asked if they had graded my mammogram but they haven't, just that their is an irregular mass. And I know that irregular masses have a higher likelihood of malignancy but that there is also still a high chance of it being a fibroadenoma.

So here I am waiting another week. I'm not sure if I should just go back to work (I'm a midwife) because I feel like my brain isn't fully working right now but also what if I have to wait beyond 3 weeks for my results and I could have gone back to work and been useful! 

This entire situation is made worse by the fact that my Dad died of cancer 7 years ago and whilst I know, if it is breast cancer, it's very treatable etc, I really struggle with the waiting for news. My Aunt also has stage 4 breast cancer, diagnosed when she was 39.

I'm also frustrated that I wasn't referred as quickly as national guidelines say I should have been and feel like I'm in limbo, not knowing what the right thing to do is.

Sorry for the ramble, I'd really appreciate any advice. My friends have been great but I always feel really guilty when I'm off work and struggle with that.

Thank you in advance xx