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24 Year Old Son

Exasperated.
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Apologies in advance for the rant.

I'm a single parent of 2, raised them alone since they were babies, just a year between them. That was stressful but they did well in school etc etc. You'd think now that they are adults, they'd learn to look after themselves but no. For the last 3/4 years, child 1 says - my heart is racing, I feel dizzy, my BP is too low....Dr wrote to her re blood results in 2019, saying he wanted to see her. Did she go? No! But moans to me about her symptoms constantly, causing me extreme anxiety, I'm not a Dr, please go to the Dr I say to her but nope, she won't listen.

Son has had problems with his stomach for last 2 years - pain, burping, loose stools. He was on waiting list during COVID for an endoscopy for 11 months. He wouldn't call the appointment office so I did and he got one within a week. It showed 'compressions' in 3/4 locations but in the end they said it was gas. He got a CT scan of stomach and pelvis 7 months ago - all clear. He smokes weed almost daily. Still has loose stools, then developed back pain so GP sent him for a urinary text ultrasound. He was on WL for 4 months for the ultrasound, all the while I know his bowels aren't right, if u know what I mean. Drs did 3 different types of stool check but he hasn't chased results. 

He had the urinary tract ultrasound last week and the GP called him yesterday but he ignored the call. They called again today and now has an appointment for Monday. 

I'm concerned that they've called him so quick and annoyed that he didn't chase his results (bowel). I keep saying to them both - I'm not a Dr, call the Dr. They're both still at home. Are your adult kids that non-chalont when it comes to their health?

He used to drink a lot as a teen but stopped. He has 2 cysts on his liver. Why do you think he's been called within a week of his ultrasound? I'm probably overthinking but I don't know 

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    Hi I'm so sorry for all the stress you are going through. 

    I'm 20 and I remember last year, not wanting to go to the doctors because my problems didn't feel serious enough to me. My family would tell me to go. I had mild knee pain and occasionally saw a little bit of blood when wiping after going to the toilet.

    But then in March, everything changed when I saw lots of blood after wiping. Since then I've called the GP so many times and have been chasing up about referrals. I've been getting one problem after another (blood in stools, prolonged periods, severe knee pain, unintentional weight loss, constipation and chest pains) and I think I have health anxiety now. I've downloaded the patient access app and asked for full access to my medical records so I can see test results as soon as they come out. A week doesn't go by without me contacting the GP.

    Maybe people need a wake up call to realise to take their health seriously. The bleeding was definitely what changed it for me.

    Now I can't believe there was a time when I wasn't anxious about my health, I've always been quite wary of not eating unhealthily/ drinking alcohol due to religious reasons but now I think I've developed orthorexia because I get so scared just from seeing junk food (and I see it a lot at uni and wonder how they are not worried eating like that). 

    My 14yo sister's been getting headaches which she thinks are cluster headaches and it makes her cry. I told her so many times she needs to tell parents to book her a GP appointment but she doesn't want one. She's getting sharp chest pains and stomach pains now so I've offered to take her call if the GP lets me.

    I don't know what will be the outcome for your kids but I hope they'll be okay and start to take their health a bit more seriously. Maybe they are scared of being seen as 'annoying' if they chase up results or don't want to bother the GP. But it's their job and your kids' symptoms sound serious enough for them to go.

  • Offline in reply to freya2002

    Hi Freya, I'm sorry to hear of your health signs. It's horrendous that you've not been seen yet. It was all very confusing with my son - somehow my calling managed to get him an appointment, after months of waiting. Did the GP offer to do a check at the GP practice, like feeling around your stomach? 

    Even though my son's results haven't found anything, my gut instinct said they'd missed something. I really hope I'm wrong.

    I also hope you will get your appointment through quickly.

     

  • Offline in reply to Exasperated.

    That sounds reassuring that your son's results were fine but I know how it feels to think they missed something. Hopefully you are wrong but it's best to be cautious about symptoms.

    Thank you. I didn't really word my experience very well.

    My GP have been amazing. I got a face to face appointment that day with a dr who was very empathetic and could probably tell I was nervous and I was by myself aswell. She did a tummy and rectal exam (I was so nervous!), weighed me and got me to do a FIT test and blood test.

    She referred me on the 2ww to rule out cancer and I had a sigmoidoscopy where they found haemorrhoids and took biopsies which were normal thankfully. They still want me to have a CT scan as I've lost weight but took me off the 2ww as it isn't urgent. I've been calling the GP a lot and asking about that since I'm still losing weight and it feels hard being severely underweight now. They have requested a CT scan but I'm not sure yet if I can have it.

    I think part of the reason why I'm on top of all this is because my parents are the complete opposite of me and don't seem to care about my health or theirs as they didn't go to their free nhs health checks until a few years after they were eligible (which is a mistake for my mum because now she's found out she's got diabetes).

    I think since they're not advocating for me, I've become my biggest advocate. However they probably are worried and are trying not to show it but it doesn't seem like it when they complain about A&E times and parking.

    The only time they seemed nervous was when my uni called them saying I have chest pain and a first aider is with me and they are on the phone with 111. My parents rushed over and were hugging me and were upset (idk if it was for show) and then took me to A&E.

    All the tests came normal so the drs believe I have costochondritis (chest cartilage damage) but my parents are annoyed that they had to stay that long (I didn't ask for both of them to come with me! I wish the rules were still that patients have to go in by themselves) for everything to come back fine.

    My chest pain still feels excruciatingly painful. Thankfully an A&E nurse told them she has costochondritis aswell and that she thought she had a heart attack the first time she had chest pain.

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