Hi

Right this is how I think...

I'm a Mum, I have had cancer, I have a daughter your age....

I would prefer my daughter to tell me, so I could support her and go with her to appointments if she needed me to.

I understand that hopefully, your lump maybe nothing and you may never have to tell her anything.

But, if it is something that needs treatment, I think it will be harder to tell her later down the line.

I would say, hopefully nothing to worry about but i'm getting checked just in case....

Good luck, I hope you get good news soon and then you can forget all about it.

Let us know how you get on xx

I've just been through the opposite as a Mother who just had a possible ovarian cancer scare ,I decided not to tell my 2 adult sons only my husband ,I decided that they didn't need the worry if everything was going to turn out ok ,so in the last 3 days I've had a hysteroscopy and a colonoscopy and they know nothing about it , the people who did the precedures said it didn't look like there was anything nasty there  although they did take biopsies but I feel more reassured ,if I have to tell them at some stage I will but to me there's no need to have everyone in the state of panic I was in for over 2 weeks because there's nothing they can do ,although I realise everyone's different and we all do things the way we think is best ,I just couldn't bear the thought of them worrying over me ,I really hope all goes well for you .

Hi,

I also had this decision to make a few months ago, my parents already had a huge amount to worry about with other family members, but I decided to tell them. Talking about it afterwards my mum was horrified that I'd considered not telling them, as they wanted to be able to support me.

I have absolutely everything crossed that you have a different experience than I did, but it also meant they were in the car park ready to come in to the hospital if needed and in that moment I was incredibly grateful for that. 

xx

Hi

Me again...

Maybe wait until nearer the apointment to tell her, that way she has less time to worry and can still be there for you..

But us Mums are made of strong stuff when it comes to our babies no matter what age they are xx

Thank you all so much for your responses...it's so eye opening to read everyone's different perspectives.

I told my older sister tonight, the whole way there I was telling myself it's fine...I'm fine...

I braced myself to tell her and completely fell apart, she is strong and supportive and we talked about telling mum.

I think when it boils down to it my emotions are coming out for them and my worry is seeing me so distressed will cause more pain, even though I am genuinely being pretty pragmatic right now, as I don't know anything until the right tests have been done I'm not going to stress and worry twice.

it's really hard to explain and as I tried with my sister I cried uncontrollably but not for me, for her. She's made me feel loads better and we think it will be best to tell mum.

My mum is the softest woman with a heart as big as the sun but she is also tough. Seeing how she held things together for my dad for such a long time (March to November thick of a pandemic I had NO idea anything was happening and I lived with them at the time)

i know it's a big ask of her to do that again and I know it will impact her but this is about me and I need her, she will know that.

at this point I am just rambling on, writing things down helps and hearing everyone's stories so for anyone still reading I hope you're well whatever part of your journey you're on ️