Referred to breast clinic. Terrified

Hi, I'm here because I'm terrified. I have been through a lot of crap but this is definitely the scariest. Back in November i had the 3rd Covid dose in my left arm which caused lymph node pain and swelling. Then the pain went away and I forgot about it. About 2 weeks ago coming back from a trip I hit my left arm and bruised it. When I touched it I felt the lymph node. Small and movable and it's really deep in, if i lift the arm I can't feel it. I freaked out. Felt nothing in my left breast at all. Right side is all good. My grandma on my father's side had breast cancer.

Two days ago I did a private ultrasound and this was the report:

Bilateral there is no ultrasound evidence of solid breast lesions. Two small, simple left breast cysts noted at 2 OC position, 5 CM FN measuring 6x4 mm and 5x4 mm.
Mild fibro dense breast tissue changes demonstrated.
The axillary lymph nodes appear normal, the largest on the right measuring 19x6 mm and on the left 13x6 mm.
No suspicious features.
No evidence of left axilla focal lesions, solid or cystic.

Went to the GP today and she felt my breast and found nothing and then she couldn't even find the lymph node I had to guide it. When she found it she said "but it's small". Then the panic started because she said: I'm going to refer you to the breast clinic not because I think you have cancer but because they may want to do something about the cysts". I asked again later and she said she doesn't think it's cancer and yet I got the 2 weeks referral. Then she almost backtracked and said we can wait 3 weeks and if you feel it's getting worse we can do the referral to which I said let's just do the referral now then. She basically said in the end that she thinks they will do nothing but it's the consultant who has to have the final word on the cysts.

I am now in utter panic. I'm alone, I have nobody no husband nothing. I'm 37 almost 38, could be gone tomorrow no one would even know. I keep thinking maybe it's not the cysts maybe there's something else. I'm crying and panicked and I don't know how to handle it. I've been left alone. I can tell you one thing though: if I survive I'll turn my whole life around. 
i just don't understand what is happening and I'm just scared really scared

 

  • Hello StellaC884

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so anxious about your health at the moment. We know from previous posts that many people who had a Covid vaccine subsequently had swollen lymph nodes and I know that we had lots of ladies post here on the forum worried that there was something seriously wrong. 

    It's positive news to hear that your ultrasound report didn't give any immediate cause for concern and that the Sonographer noted there were "no suspicious features". It can be hard sometimes when we've been through a difficult time to hold on to the positives but try to focus on the good news that your ultrasound report brings. 

    It sounds from your post as if your GP isn't concerned but has referred you to see the breast consultant for some peace of mind. Unfortunately, instead, you've found this referral to be another cause for worry. Try to keep in mind that the large majority of people who are seen in breast clinics are not diagnosed with cancer. 

    In the meantime, the NHS website has some really good advice about managing health anxiety that you may find helpful whilst waiting for your appointment. 

    If you'd like to talk things through with one of our nurses for some reassurance and support you're welcome to call them Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040 (excluding bank holidays). 

    I hope that you're able to find the reassurance that you need soon. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Thank you for your response. Unfortunately I'm losing it. Yesterday i was taken to the hospital because I had a complete breakdown. I panicked and as I saw airplanes out of the windows (I'm an avid traveller and love it) I kept crying screaming and banging my head against the windows. Cried intensively for hours. Was put on a suicide watch for 8 hours with someone standing by my door the entire time and wasn't even allowed to go to the bathroom on my own. After things calmed down the guy left, the doctor saw me and he said it was ok to discharge me. However the psychiatrist wanted to speak to me. Waited 2 hours and was given a Covid test. That means they were preparing to admit me into the psychiatric wards. When no one was watching I left. I'm at home now but I'm cracked. My eyes are red and extremely swollen and still can't stop crying. I think this it. I think I'm pretty much doomed

  • Hello stellac884, 

    I am so sorry you are feeling so anxious. It does sound like you had a bit of a panic attack yesterday and seeing those airplaines out of the windows triggered something and made you feel very vulnerable. Try to hang on to what my colleague Jenn has told you, that it sounds like your GP isn't overly concerned and the majority of breast clinic referrals will not lead to a cancer diagnosis so try and hold that thought and keep strong until you are seen at the breast clinic. Waiting is really hard and it's normal for your mind to go into overdrive. There are helpful tips on this page to help you cope while waiting for important news.Try if you can to take it easy today especially after everything you went through yesterday.

    It would do some good perhaps to talk to your GP about how you are feeling at the moment so try and make an appointment to see your doctor on Tuesday or if you feel things are getting too much for you, do go back to the hospital. I am sure they will understand and it could do you some good to talk to their mental health specialists and get their advice on how to get through this difficult time in your life. They will understand that things are tough for you at the moment and are there to help.  As it's a bank holiday tomorrow, there is also 111 you could ring at any time if you feel you want to talk to a doctor. 

    I thought I would also mention the Samaritans Helpline which you can ring 24h a day every day so don't hesitate to get in touch with them if things are particularly difficult. 

     I hope that soon you will get the reassurance you need after you have had your appointment at the breast clinic so you can overcome this anxiety. We're all here for you anytime you need to talk!

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator 

     

  • Thank you, I'm still anxious but okay overall. I found out only upon receiving the letter that the GP has actually referred me to - quoting - "breast surgery. Outpatient treatment centre". Doesn't seem a breast clinic because it's located at a different hospital much further than where I live. The hospital that's 10 minutes from my house has 4 breast units called breast units. Referral was still 2 weeks. Is there a difference between these two? I'm not from the UK so I don't really know

  • I'm really glad to hear you're ok Stella although I'm sorry you're still feeling anxious.

    Unfortunately I can't answer this question but if you're able to speak with your GP on Tuesday, they should be able to tell you more.

    You're also welcome to discuss this with one of our nurses when they return on Tuesday. They're very supportive and will do all they can to answer your questions and put your mind at ease.

    I really hope you're able to get some clarification on this soon Stella and all goes well with your referral.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator