Hi. I'm 18 and absolutely terrified.

I was referred to the gynaecologist for painful, heavy and irregular periods around November last year, I got an appointment in December. I wasn't worried at all and just wanted to know if it was endometriosis that could be fixed or naturally more painful periods. I didn't even have cancer in my mind at this stage. I was given an ultrasound and a "simple cyst" was noticed on my ovary. I wasn't really worried. I had a follow up appt and my gynae referred me for an MRI "just in case".

5 months passed between my ultrasound and gynae follow up, 3 months passed between my gynae follow up and my MRI so it was clearly not fast tracked. After the MRI results came through to my doctor I was contacted for another ultrasound in *less than two weeks*. I've dealt with the NHS ultrasound service and I know up to three month waits are custom after a referral or cancellation if you don't have anything to worry about. Under a two week wait is clearly fast tracked and my mind is going crazy. They gave me a blood test before the MRI - did they give me a CA125 test without telling me? is this why the ultrasound is so soon? The NICE guidelines say that for "suspected ovarian cancer" after a high CA125 a two week referral for an ultrasound is always given. It all became frightening after I read that. Hopefully the MRI found something like a fibroid in my ovaries and they just need to check it out. Maybe I was lucky and got a quick referral because of a cancellation or something. I keep thinking I'm overthinking it and that I'm mad and need to calm myself down, and then I get scared and start crying again. It doesn't help that I'm on my period, and every time I'm reminded of that area I feel like my body has betrayed itself. And that my periods are numbered from now on. I never thought I'd be dreading potentially not having periods anymore. 

My follow up appointment with my gynaecologist was arranged in May (arranged before my MRI and blood test results) and the appt is one month after my ultrasound. That's one month of waiting and being scared, and if it's brought forward after the all the results, I'll definitely know something is wrong. Gyne cancer is common in my family even in young women, from both sides. My aunt was tested after she had cancer in her 40s and learned she has the BRCA2 gene. My granny's younger sister passed away at 36. 

Am I overthinking this and worrying for nothing? I feel crazy. And I feel crazy for posting this on a cancer forum. One moment I'm fine and the next I'm crying my eyes out - out of fear and frustration. My letters have no bedside manner and the lack of communication, explanation and reassurance is infuriating. I cried when my MRI referral came through because the blood test letter had urgent written on it. Now my mind is going wild over this two week ultrasound now I've learned what the NICE guidelines are. I can't even ring the GP for clarification if I actually got a CA125, to talk about the findings of my MRI or why my ultrasound is fast tracked because it's the weekend. I don't know if I want to know. My parents are all funny about death and illness so I can't even find support in them. I hope this post isn't too long, and if you made it to the end thank you for reading. x