Hello [@Hollibob]‍ , I had a surgical biopsy on the same day as you and I had a letter inviting me to come in about my results on the 21st, I think they just send out a letter automatically after taking the biopsy and fit patients in one after another, there's no way the letter could have got here this quickly otherwise. I genuinely don't think the letter has any indication of what the results are as I doubt they've even looked at them yet.

Sorry it's still a waiting game, it's horrid isn't it, I just want answers! I've got a house move to keep me distracted in the meantime and an MRI to worry about, hopefully you can find ways to keep busy too and in the meantime am happy to chat and wait with you until we know more!

Thank you for your reply.

I was thinking that the appointments must just get automatically booked in. They assured me they would call me to go in in 2 weeks so hopefully we get earlier dates.

Yes the waiting is horrible!  The consultant said even if results are benign its not the kind of lump you would leave so I know it's got to come out. Just the thought that it's there is driving me insane I just want it out.

Sorry to hear you have the additional worry of an MRI and stress of moving although I understand that this is probably a good distraction at the moment. 

Hello

My appointment confirmed breast cancer. Grade 2 DCIS. 

Awaiting the results for HER2 which will hopefully be on Wednesday and then we put treatment plan into action but will all depend on positive or negative as to the route we take. 

If I was you I would talk with your manager, if you are anxious about it now they should hopefully be able to make some adjustments for you to ease you in?

X

Hi Hollybob, sending lots of love and hope you get your treatment plan soon.

I have just been referred to a genetesist and they call ed today for me to go on Tuesday next week. My oncologist is calling tomorrow about my other little blip which was confirmed as a carcinoma of the lowe eyelid so I will talk it through with her.

All the best

HM

I'm really sorry to hear about your diagnosis [@Hollibob]‍, I'm in the same boat, my appointment was booked for the 21st but I got a phone call bringing it forward to Wednesday 14th. My mum is trying to be positive and telling me that they couldn't possibly give me bad news over the phone, but I'm focusing more on the fact they brought it forward as I know from others on here that they do give our diagnoses over the phone when necessary.

Let me know what happens next moving forward with treatment and everything... how are you feeling in yourself? Thinking of you x

Oh Hollibob, thats not the news I wanted to read..

Im so sorry to read this honestly.

How are you feeling?? 

You'll have a treatment plan very soon which is good.

Im gonna get a GP appt for the afternoon of my pit patients that I can always cancel. But theyve already sorted the weekend now so not working that thank goodness.  I shoukd have return to work interview etc and they'll have to accommodate my needs. Feel a bit better this evening but yesterday, overnight and this a.m I was a jibbering wreck.

Look after yourself and take care

Thanks all for your messages!

I actually stated the work diagnosis (what a sausage!) It's not in situ it's actually grade 2 invasive ductal carcinoma. 

I'm feeling very up and down, one minute I'm ok and positive saying I'm gonna kick cancers *** and the next minute I'm a mess and saying 'I've got cancer' out loud (not in front of anyone who doesn't yet know).

Still feel a bit in limbo waiting on the results of HER2, get a bit panicky knowing that I have this thing in me and I just want it out!

Then the thought of telling my children and my parents fills me with emotion, I just don't want to put them through any worry so I hope to keep it from the kids as long as possible as they have just gone back to school and have important year ahead of them (y7 and y11). Parents will be harder to keep it from as I am going to need their help when it comes to appointments and school runs.

Hiya.

About telling others, don't go worrying too much about that. There is no right or wrong way to go about it. My wife's cancer nurse kinda guided us through telling our then 14 year old daughter, who suffered from bad anxiety and we were petrified over what her reaction was gonna be.

The nurse advised us to tell her the truth, and not to over embellish things as to save them from worry. Because kids tend to go into themselves, and worry if they feel you are keeping things from them. They deal better with the truth, and that has been our experience. An example of what I'm trying to say, we were told not to say treatment will be a breeze (should you need systematic treatment - chemo etc), then the kids see you being floored for a day. Breezing through treatment and struggling with fatigue for a day or 3 doesn't match up with things being a breeze. No need to go into great detail with them, just keep it simple.

We chose to stick to information that was being relayed to us via the medical people treating my wife. My daughter has coped really well with this. So when my wife was having bad days, it didn't come as a shock.

All that said, you know your kids better than anyone, and what worked in our case, might not be what you think is best for your kids. If you're struggling to tell family, and your kids, you could always contact Macmillan and ask their advice. They're very good, so don't be shy using them. Maggies should you have one near you are also fantastic. They're there to help not only yourself, but your partner and kids.

Thank you very much for your reply I really appreciate your experience. 

I've actually just read a macmillan leaflet about talking to the kids and it's totally changed my view point. I agree with you, I want home to be a safe space for all of us to talk about how we feel and ask questions. 

I should (hopefully) get my HER2 results tomorrow, if not its another week wait, once I have them I will know more about my treatment plan so will be better equipped to talk to the kids and my parents.

Thanks again.

Hi holibob 

just to say sorry about your diagnosis, it's a shock to say the least I also had grade 2 DCIS got diagnosed on June 29 th mine is her2 - , once you are over the shock you do get to feel better as time goes on you get used to it and it do get better honestly stay strong and positive the treatment is so good these days xx virtual hugs xx

So sorry for your results probably a silly question but how are you feeling? 

Big vitural hug for you xx

Hi @K86 not a silly question at all, thank you for asking.

Today I'm not doing so good, I think I pinned too much hope on getting my HER2 results today but no phone call which means it will be at least Wednesday next week now. Its totally spun me out of control, had to log off work and go and lie down as I've given myself a headache and I feel like my chest is so tight!

I just want to know how and when we start treatments and surgery, hate the thought it's potentially growing and spreading inside and I'm  just sat here waiting.

Trying so hard to be brave and positive but today I've crumbled which I'm not proud of.

Tomorrow is another day though so I will dust off and go to work and pretend everything is fine 

Xx

Hi @K86 not a silly question at all, thank you for asking.

Today I'm not doing so good, I think I pinned too much hope on getting my HER2 results today but no phone call which means it will be at least Wednesday next week now. Its totally spun me out of control, had to log off work and go and lie down as I've given myself a headache and I feel like my chest is so tight!

I just want to know how and when we start treatments and surgery, hate the thought it's potentially growing and spreading inside and I'm  just sat here waiting.

Trying so hard to be brave and positive but today I've crumbled which I'm not proud of.

Tomorrow is another day though so I will dust off and go to work and pretend everything is fine 

Xx

The waiting is so hard like you say can imagine you just want to know when everything is. You're doing amazing hope you're hot family friends round you. 

Thinking of you. So so hard waiting on calls and appointments.

I'm still waiting on my biopsy results nothing like what you're going through but I'm trying to be prepared either way it really is the not knowing that's hard.

I'd be the same as you would just want it out etc.

Keep me updated on treatments and when you know about more always here if need to off load.

This site is amazing helps so much reading other people's experiences and advice.

XXX big hugs

Hi just thought see how your feeling xx 

Hi @K86 thank you for checking in on me :-)

I am having a better day today, yesterday was emotional but today I'm stronger. Guess it will be up and down for the next few months now.

I think it's just the lack of control at the moment, not knowing which route we are going means I can't put plans in place. I'm holding off telling my parents and children until I know whether it's surgery or chemo first as I want a plan before I drop it on them.

I have an amazing husband and a rock of a sister so I am very supported. I've also told my best friend this morning which has also helped because again I felt I was in control (never realised how much of a control freak I am lol)

How are you doing? Any news on biopsy results? When did you have the biopsy?

X

You're doing amazing id be exactly the same I always like to get things straight in my head a bit. Really hope you know soon the plan.

Always here if need to offload or chat can give you my what app or Instagram if a help.

Must be such a shock. How old are your children? 

I have one son 14. I had biopsy done week ago last Friday. Definitely trying to be prepared either way. How did you come across your lump?

Really hope you know a bit more soon you got this xx 

I have 2 boys aged 15 and 11, they are not going to like talking about mom's book! Lol

I noticed the skin had changed on my left breast and a slight bump in March this year, however my right breast had a bloody discharge from the nipple so they only scanned that one as they said they only scan the symptomatic one! So annoyed now. I had a duct removal from the right breast in April but the bump in my left seemed to get bigger, I wasn't sure if it was getting bigger or if it was because I was getting smaller owing to the fact I joined slimming world in May and have lost quite a bit. Anyway thought I'd go again and get it checked... glad I did now but do wonder how long it's been there.

Hope you get your results soon and that it's good news, keep me updated. The waiting is torture. My breast care nurse gave me good advice to only focus on the here and now. You've ticked off things already in terms of going to GP, getting the biopsy etc

I'm focusing on work today as feel I've let it slip the last few days, then the weekend will be busy with homelife.  I just hope the results are ready this Wednesday and I don't have to wait another week!

Definitely such good advice I thought that on the biopsy Kelt thinking just go with what's happening as not keen on needles  

I'm 36 mine is in the left only about 15 mm think they said sort of where my heart is and mainly feel it in the shower or sat up sometimes tender.

Hope work goes ok and keep me updated take it easy thinking of you xx 

So my HER2 results have been confirmed as negative, now waiting for appointment to see the surgeon to discuss the operation.

I am in agony with low back pain so of course I have convinced myself it's related to the breast cancer :-( just want to get in a full body scanner right now!

Told my parents at the weekend which I can honestly say was just as hard as being told myself all over again.

I am finding mornings the worst as I'm waking up at 4am and it's the first thing I think of. Soon as hubby goes to work I feel overwhelmed with emotion but have to keep it in for the kids. I know as soon as they go to school I'll be crying on my way to work(I just don't want to go right now) 

Feel like I'm weak and angry that I'm just not getting a grip! Just want it out now please!

Sorry for venting just feel like this is a safe space as I tell family I'm fine and life must carry on as normal! I'm such a fraud :-(

You're bound to feel such a mix of emotions such a lot to take in sending you a big big cuddle Do the her2 results mean if it's a hormone type one? Sorry as I'm a bit new to it all. Still waiting on my results.

Yes can image any aches and pains must feel so scary fingers crossed for MRI scan

You are definitely not weak normal to feel sad angry scared. Here anytime to write away keep me updated.

Thinking of you xx 

Hi holibob 

I was to her2 - found out in June it's gone now just waiting on if chemo is required bedn yold chemo no chemo chemo no chemo so im in a tizz waiting .

take it each day at a time on diagnosis I was a mess but as time goes on it gets much easier you do and will get your head around it , I can't listen to the Harry styles song as it was lol don't think I ever will again .

can you talk a little time off work to get your mind round it babe , you will get through it fighting breast cancer is not how it was years ago when you start telling people you will be suprised they are like my aunty my Nan had that 20 years ago ect it's just a bump in the road for us we soon be back to normal big hugs x

Hi @K86

[@K86]‍  her2 is a protein on the surface of cancer cells. Some have higher than normal levels which helps them grow. If my HER2 came back positive I would require chemotherapy first. As its come back negative I can go for surgery without Chemo (if anything is found in my lymph nodes then we will discuss chemotherapy again)

How are you getting on? I've now got an appointment to see my surgeon on Monday to discuss the procedure. The waiting for news is the hardest part so I completely understand how anxious you must be feeling. No amount of 'try to keep busy' and 'not think about it' advice worked for me. It was constantly on my mind.