Hi all,

thought I'd update as posting to this thread has been a real way to relieve my anxiety. Called gp in the morning and basically begged to be seen, and was thankfully given an appointment with a nurse. Came in and immediately burst into tears, listing off all my anxieties and thoughts, from the googling I'd be doing to the exact cancer I've been fixating on to the symptoms that I cant decipher between real, mild, due to anxiety or all in my head. The nurse was lovely - so sympathetic and really made me feel listened to. 
 

she examined me and said she could feel some lymph nodes in my neck, and said that she could test my blood that day rather than make me wait until the 10th august. After a thorough full body exam, asking about symptoms and taking my vitals, she said that she wasn't worried, thinking it was more likely I am iron deficient due to my conversion to vegetarianism a few months ago. My lymph nodes are swollen, but still relatively small and confined to one area, so she suspects it may be an ill timed viral infection. She said that I seem way healthier than someone with the cancer I think I have would be. 
 

she said she'll call me about my bloods on Monday (I was so grateful for her to give me a set time to ring me as I knew I'd be torturing myself with the what ifs if I was just waiting aimlessly). She also prescribed me some Prozac for my health anxiety, which I can pick up this afternoon. 
 

Came home relieved that I will finally have an answer on Monday, and am looking into getting some vitamin supplements. Have felt very tired since coming home, but I think this is me getting in my head about fatigue after the nurse asked me about it during the checkup. Alternatively, I barely slept last night due to worry so that could also be catching up with me. In any case, only 72 hours before I am no longer in the dark. Will probably update this thread everyday until then; I'm not sure if anyone is reading this, but just speaking into the void is making me feel better. 

Hey,

me again. Day 2 of waiting for results is not going well. I argued with my parents last night - they think my symptoms are in my head, and that I'm making myself ill by stressing. Part of me thinks they're right, but another part is constantly scared for the worst. 
 

I got sent home just two hours into my shift, after breaking down in tears as I'd felt sick all morning. I've managed to eat - half a pancake and a mini pastry, but it's something. Other than the nausea, I have headaches and the nodes are still swollen. Fatigue isn't bad, but I have felt dizzy. I just want someone to tell me what's wrong. 
 

I've decided that I'm going to spend the day relaxing and giving my body what it needs, as fighting anything bad will only make me feel worse in the long run. I think I'll have a bath, watch a movie, eat some food that I feel I can manage. After this post, I have told myself I cannot look at ANYTHING online related to cancer, as it simply will not help and will only stress me out more. Really fighting the urge to call 111 again. 
 

still 48 hours before I get my results. I feel like my entire life is falling apart. 

Back for the second time today,

so, I failed miserably at my plan to stay off cancer info, and have been practically doing it constantly since I got home. 
 

The nausea has died down, but left me not wanting to eat anything. the doctor prescribed me Prozac to help with my health anxiety, so it could be a side effect of this as today is my first dosage. I called 111 who referred me to a health centre doctor who said this was likely. 
 

am I losing weight? I keep checking but can't tell. I'm sure I've dropped a couple pounds in the last week, but I've been incredible stressed so perhaps that is it? I'm not even sure if I have lost anything. 
 

still two days to go.