So I've had two lumps in my neck since I was a late teen, I went to the doctor and they said they were nodes, they'd go down. Well 6 years on and they're still there. I went to the doctor a few months ago when I was about 5 months pregnant as had a new one come up so got them all checked. Again said it was nodes. Well that new one went away abs the other two are still there. I noticed that they'd gotten bigger so got them che led and the doctor found an extra one and she's referred me for an ultrasound but said if I don't hear back within a month to contact again, that was last week. I don't have an appointment as of yet. Well last night I found another one. So I've gone from thinking I had 2 to having 4. 
 

I, of course, started googling and spoke to a friend of mine that had lymphoma and was told she just had nodes and I have most of the symptoms and have done for years. For example: itchy skin, chest pain, sweating, night sweats (but only occasionally), fatigue, my lunos move but are painless. I'm petrified I've had lymphoma and they've missed it this whole time. I'm 22 years old and only just had my daughter 5 months ago. I can't stop worrying I won't be there for when she grows up and she'll grow up without me and the last week I've spent most of time crying, I can't leave the house apart from walks to try and clear my head, I've barely eaten and slept. Last year I lost my son at 20 weeks pregnant and nearly lost my daughter for the same reason. She's my biggest blessing and I love her more than I could ever explain and now I'm beyond petrified I'm going to have cancer and leave her prematurely. Shes super attached to me and struggles to fall asleep or feed with anyone else, including her dad. She gets really upset when I leave the room or she's on someone else apart from her dad and she gets so excited when I'm back. Shes really is my best friend. She's my whole world and I can't bare to think of her missing me or not being able to sleep or feed properly, growing up without me etc. 

I'm sorry, I don't really know the point of the this post. I'm just so overwhelmed. I'm just so, so scared. Even writing this makes me cry so much. I've tried to ask the doctor to fast track the ultrasound because I just need to know but they scent replied yet x