They did this with my wife too. Basically told her it didn't look benign. Believe it or not, when you're sat there getting the actual conformation, you realise, them breaking it to you in increments does help a little on the day. You kinda have that wee bit in-between to get your head around it somewhat, so you're not just being whacked with a ton weight there and then.

Not gonna lie, it still wasn't good, but we expected D day to be worse. Like you see on TV. It wasn't for us as we 95% knew it was going to be the dreaded news.

We left the hospital that day feeling fairly positive. It's going to be a rollercoaster until you know exactly what is what.

Hello, thank you for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear your wife is going through this. What was she diagnosed with? How is she coping? How are you coping? 

I feel complete guilt that I will be putting my little family through hell. 

I do think you're right, it has given me the chance to come to terms with it's a big possibility. I went to my appointment completely convinced it was going to be nothing so the whole appointment was horrendous, I was an absolute mess.

One more day to go, feeling incredibly anxious today but I am going to get out with my children and syltay off Google!

Hello, thank you for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear your wife is going through this. What was she diagnosed with? How is she coping? How are you coping? 

I feel complete guilt that I will be putting my little family through hell. 

I do think you're right, it has given me the chance to come to terms with it's a big possibility. I went to my appointment completely convinced it was going to be nothing so the whole appointment was horrendous, I was an absolute mess.

One more day to go, feeling incredibly anxious today but I am going to get out with my children and syltay off Google!

Hiya.

Before i get onto how my wife is doing, I just wanted to say, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. You didn't ask for this, and you did nothing wrong. It's just down to sheer bad luck. It can happen to anyone, at anytime. You aren't putting your family through anything. So lose that guilt and concentrate on yourself and your family as you normally would.

Yeah, my wife's story basically read very similar to yours insofar as the initial appointment day went. She was told it didn't look good. At no point during all this has anyone used the word "cancer" with us. Which, all things considered, is very surprising. But they used every other piece of terminology. Sinister, malignant etc etc etc, but not "cancer". I think this was done purposely as not to freak people out.

We were told not to go home thinking it was anything other than it being the news we were dreading. They do get it wrong sometimes, there are stories out there proving this to be the case, but they are rare. But until the biopsies are back, you do still have that slither of hope because a biopsy is needed to give a diagnosis.

Her diagnosis was grade 3, triple positive. She had a 4.6cm tumour in her breast and 2 lymph nodes under her arm. Luckily, all the scans came back stating it was all contain within the breast and local nodes.

The worst part mentally with all this was the unknown. It's what gets you. It's awful and there is no magic bullet to make this better. The best you can do is to keep yourself busy, but as you will now know yourself, that is easier said than done.