Hey Lauren, just saw your post here too. Stick with the other thread to chat it all through with myself and the other ladies. We will help you through xxx

Thank you - I just don't think I can do this 

Yes you CAN. I was in an utter state of shock and fear two weeks ago. I found a lump and went from zero to 1000 in the trauma stakes. I was told what I had looked suspicious. I was in bits. Could not stop crying. I went out to the nearest pub and got anhialated on white wine. It was the only way to get through that night. But I'm here and I'm OK and there are SO many medics/doctors/nurses and the kindest and most kick *** people out there whose business it is to fix you no matter what. You CAN do this. Fear and initial shock is tricking you into thinking you can't but you CAN. Are you with someone? Married/partner? Mum or dad or sister you can confide in? Xxx

I have my mum and husband. What happened with your lump sorry to ask again my head is so scrambled 

I'm not surprised it is scrambled. It is something no one ever expects to find. It literally happens to other people and then suddenly you are other people. It is an utter shock. Just hideous.

So I was lucky enough to have health insurance through my job. Lump felt Thursday, appointment next day. Consultant said he felt two lumps, but felt benign. Had mammogram, then ultrasound and two biopsies. Cried throughout the biopsies as was told nothing and just thought it must be something bad. Was then told I have a lot of calcification clustered together which looks suspicious. Didn't even mention the two lumps. Then on the following Tuesday was told I had early stage breast cancer. The calcifications they think is ductal carcinoma in situ, but the two small lumps are invasive. It can and will be treated. I have since had an MRI and a pet ct scan which thankfully have shown my lymph nodes clear and no spread. I also caught covid on top of this. You'd think I would have collapsed, but instead I have found such strength and all because I started meditating like a loon. Three times daily. AND I bought How to Starve Cancer, by Jane Mclelland who is an absolute legendary Cancer survivor and kick *** woman. I am on a mission to heal myself with the help of all the doctors I'm seeing. 

At this moment you do not know what you have, so as much as your mind will take you to the darkest of places, you must pull it back to the present. Breathe, breathe, breathe. Just because something might look suspicious does not mean that it is. If you are a drinker, please have a glass of wine or whatever you drink. Take the edge off and remember you have done the right thing in having a scan. I also recommend epsom salt baths as they help relax you. The waiting and the wondering are without doubt the worst parts of this horrible thing. X

I have private health care through my work I may contact them on Monday and ask if I'm covered. Can I ask how old you are and do you have a history of this in your family ?

Hi Lauren, 

I just had to pop on here and say that you CAN do this! Whatever it is. I totally understand, and feel your pain - I was exactly the same a few months ago. Found a lump, which unfortunately turned out to be cancer and I just lost it completely. It was a complete shock and didn't think I'd get through. But here I am, having had scans, biopsies, a lumpectomy and radiotherapy - and I'm feeling fine!
 

Please put your trust in the medical team, believe that you're tougher than you realise and do not Google! It may turn out to be nothing, but if you do need treatment (and there's so much treatment available!) you'll feel so much better once you have a plan in place and can focus on one thing at a time.
 

I hope this reassures you a little. You're not alone and you'll be ok! 

xxx

Hi Lauren

No history at all of this. I'm 45. My mum 81, my grandma lived to 102! It was a major shock for me. 

How are you feeling today? You should deffo use your work medical scheme. Xx

Hi Lauren

How are you doing? Did you sort anything out with your health insurance? Xx