Hi 2me,

 I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer and, on both occasions (different surgeons), I was told that it was likely to be cancer. I was also told this twice with other scares, which had a better outcome. I don't believe that anyone is told to expect bad news, unless the surgeon expects you to get bad news. The fact is that they cannot always be certain until the results of a biopsy are known. If this is the case, some surgeons do give us a warning, which gives us time to prepare for the diagnosis.

It is still be a terrible shock when you're told the bad news, so you might find it easier to have your husband with you at the time. Even if he only remembers one snippet of information, chances are that's one more than you would remember on your own. You do need support on this journey and you are as well to include your husband as you travel the road. Besides, cancer doesn't only affect us. It impinges heavily on the lives of our loved ones too.

I hope and pray that all goes well for you tomorrow and, that your outcome is better than expected.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Jolamine,

Thank you for the very wise words and I'll read them again.  I couldn't figure out if the mild shaking when I left the clinic last week was shock or cold and decided a mixture of the two.

You may well be right that he needs come in with me.  Taking it from your perspective (which is giving me clarity) I think he may need to hear it from them more than from me.

It's our tenth anniversary today.  I'd rather be in my shoes than his.

Thanks again and I'll see what tomorrow brings, just like everyday.

Hi 2me,

A Very Happy Anniversary, although I'm sure that you'd much rather be celbrating it in a different way. I initially blocked my hubby out. I felt that my diagnosis was for me to deal with and not to worry my family. I soon found out that this was the worst thing I could do. My hubby was hurt that I didn't include him in everything and it was much easier for him to hear everything first hand, instead of my version when I arrived home.

I eventually made two identical lists of questions prior to every appointment and gave my hubby one. He then wrote down the answers as I was asking the questions. It is a known fact that we all forget most of what is said at an appointment before we leave the hospital grounds. I  also found that he was very helpful in drawing up the lists of questions, as he often thought of different questions than me.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I had investigations both for a cyst on my thyroid and more recently for some symptoms that could be rectal cancer. In both cases, I was pretty much told it was unlikely to be cancer. In the latter case, I was told I was low risk and that I would have to be "the unluckiest person in the world," for it to be cancer. In the former case, I was told "I think you are fine" and "nodules are common, most are benign, but of course, we have to test them for cancer."

However, while they were completely correct about the rectal symptoms, which turned out to be hemorrhoids (possibly with some stress from the wait), as we all expected, the thyroid did turn out to be cancer, so their expectations are not always accurate. It takes the results to know for sure.

Also, I am in Ireland, under a very different system, so things may be different here.

Best of luck and I hope you get good news.

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but I had investigations both for a cyst on my thyroid and more recently for some symptoms that could be rectal cancer. In both cases, I was pretty much told it was unlikely to be cancer. In the latter case, I was told I was low risk and that I would have to be "the unluckiest person in the world," for it to be cancer. In the former case, I was told "I think you are fine" and "nodules are common, most are benign, but of course, we have to test them for cancer."

However, while they were completely correct about the rectal symptoms, which turned out to be hemorrhoids (possibly with some stress from the wait), as we all expected, the thyroid did turn out to be cancer, so their expectations are not always accurate. It takes the results to know for sure.

Also, I am in Ireland, under a very different system, so things may be different here.

Best of luck and I hope you get good news.