Confused and of course, petrified.

Hi everyone, I hope you are all ok.

Two weeks ago I returned to work after christmas. By the end of the day (14 days ago) my back felt sore and tingly. Almost like I had a bad spot. I went home and had a little look and could see nothing obvious. After a little rooting around it was clear that the base of my back, in the centre, was swollen and a little tender. I cant describe it as a lump, more of an inflammation. When I stand up you can see it, when I lean forward is disapates and you cant see it. It isnt hard and I cant really move it. It just feels like  a fullness. So, naturally because I am an obsessive I turn to doctor google. I know it is wrong but I cannot stop myself. I become unbelivably anxious. I contacted the doctor after 10 days and told her the situation, as well as confessing about how anxiety is ruining my life. She saw me yesterday and her manner wasnt the most appropriate. After examining me she told me that I mystified her and that she did not know what it was. Maybe it is just the way my body is she said. Maybe it has always been there. I cannot tell you how big it is but is is more than 5cm. I cannot accuratley tell you if it hurts because my anxiety is able to create physical pain. As I sit here now and write this, I can feel it burning slightly. The doctor rather helpfully said that if it is something sinister then it may have been caught early. In my mind, I have Sarcoma in the spine with a very grim prognosis. I guess my question is, could it be a lipoma without a bump? Could it be just me getting fat after christmas and having a little patch there? I really am worried about the ultrasound that my Dr has referred me for. Anyone have any similar experiences?

  • Hello AJL75, 

    I hope you won't have to wait too long for your ultrasound. I can imagine it must be a very stressful time for you while waiting to find out more.

    I know it is really hard but try not to worry too much or anticipate what it might be. The best thing to do to avoid thinking too much about this is to keep busy and distracted if you can and avoid looking things up online. I can imagine it is hard for you to do this at the moment but it will help you feel a little less anxious. 

    I hope you will also hear from others here who have been through all this before and that they will be along soon to share their story with you. 

    Keeping everything crossed for you that everything turns out fine. 

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator