Here we are again . Been referred on the 2 week list to the colorectal team at the hospital which is a 40odd mile round trip . Dr said it was a hard lump and offered no alternative other than when asked " it could be a gristly lump or a cyst, who knows ?  If it's a nasty they'll chop it out" "people tend to see the word cancer and death in the same sentence but advances in medicine doesn't always mean that " impressed ? I think not . She also said that I could have ovarian cancer after 6 and a half years and that really impressed my fear factor into outer space. Now absolutely mortified awaiting CA125resulys and the March down that path as well . Sleep ? You must be joking .

Right. I now have an appointment at the colorectal unit on 13th of jan 22. Which is terrifying me as of course I've been on Dr Google and have summarised that "hard , firm , smooth , glassy "lumps , bumps , tumours whatever you define them as are usually cancerous , this info was from reputable sites such as the American association of colorectal surgeons etc. I'm really , really scared now . However my blood tests have come back:

 - full blood count normal and my CA125 is only 14 so that looks good so far. Thank you.

I will update when I'm investigated . I'm dreading it , I'm dreading having to get my husband to drive me backwards and forwards , I'm dreading having to leave my very needy and very "separation anxiety " filled dog with him and he will have to come on the drives with us , he's never been left alone. I think I'm going to burst with worry. I can't leave him with anyone , there's just no one I can leave him with , no friends or neighbours or relations and although he's a medium size dog he's only 3 and very friendly / boisterous.

Hey 

keeping my fingers crossed for you because I'm in exactly the same boat. Frustratingly people post about this on this forum and disappear without update.  I found a pea sized movable lump about a month ago. No pain, no protruding etc. It's inside my anus and very hard, not soft and just feels very hard and round. I went to the doctors before Christmas and wasn't even asked any questions, just told it was a thrombosed vein. Went back two days ago and was told actually they didn't have a clue what it was. I have no symptoms of piles / haemorrhoids. No blood, no itching generally. I have a feeling that something is there so to speak. Tingling and a fuzzy feeling but aside from that I only realised I had it because one day I wiped and it was there. Worth mentioning it doesn't change size from straining or bowl movements. Only few things of note is that I have been absolutely exhausted constantly and my bowl movements have been very loose recently. Don't know what to think. I was referred to my hospital via the 2 week pathway and have a phone consultation next week. What use is a phone consultation for a lump is beyond me. 

Hello there . 
im sorry to hear of any poor soul , worried out of their bonce like me.

My GP was totally flippant and dismissive, I felt a complete twit waddling across her room bare from the waist down making it worse. Embarrassed and frightened.

Anyway, to summarise today's events thus far. 

- went to the 2 week OUt patient appt as made by Dr Flip herself and saw " a doctor " whom I cannot remember his name ( I was really hyped up with fear ) and a lovely student nurse. He gave me a lot of questions , and a DRE , you MUST , MUST , MUST , get this done - a telephone consultation over a lump inside your anus cannot be done over the phone , NO. if I were you I would politely insist that a Dr has a hands on , feely , pokey and investigates further. 

- The gent I saw had experience of anal cancer and he reassured me to a certain extent , but , to make sure he arranged a sigmoidoscopy to be done and the results of that, pending the outcome ,  more tests such as biopsy under anaesthetic etc to determine what said " hard but rubbery " lump is. He did think it could be scar tissue under the mucosa from an old fissure but needed the sig to have a look. 
- literally as soon as I'd got in , the hospital rang and I have a "pre-procedure" questionnaire with a nurse tomorrow on the phone and the sig procedure on Tuesday afternoon. 

if I were you I'd ring your surgery or telephone consultation source and calmly suggest a DRE is definitely the way to proceed . 

Hope this helps.

you do feel swept along by the frightening thing happening that is beyond your control , but , as I have found out , it really doesn't matter how much you mither yourself into a jibbering wreck , it isn't going to alter Mr .Lumpy residing in your anal canal , he's still sitting there , quietly waiting for either to stay in benign residence and grow old with me  or to be served his eviction notice . Whatever happens , I CANNOT CHANGE BY GOING LOOLOO. You must get it checked.

So do the call , insist on "touchy feely " approach . My bum has never had so many new best friends . 
And yes I'm getting to the point , that if the band of the Coldstream Guards walked through playing "I've got you under my skin" I wouldn't be suprised either. 
Be forceful.

I have to say I love your posts, they cheer me up... albeit I really hate to think of how worried you feel by this all. 
 

I did complain to the hospital in the end and I have an appointment face to face on the 25th. I don't have any other symptoms in terms of pain, bleeding etc and that almost worries me more as the natural conclusion would be it's a pile etc. I just have a bit of an upset stomach a lot of the time and extreme tiredness but that could be anything. I'm just trying to remain calm and collected, chilled and just not worry. I'll be thankful to not have to wake up and put my finger inside my anus to see if old lumpy is still there. I have a sneaking suspicion it's getting very very slightly bigger. But not sure if that's my imagination. 

Oh dear,  it's now become a daily appt in the shower first thing in the morning with me 'n Mr Lumpy !

I think , we will always think " perhaps if I stick my ankle round my neck , 'ol Lumpy feels bigger , or wider , or if I do the splits , he goes in a bit .....
I honestly think your mind goes into warp factor 10 , Mr Sulu !! .....and you and your finger can't possibly judge 'ol Lumpy's size . Sometimes I go to the loo and think , I know , whilst here I'll check on Lumpy and guess what ? He's still there . I also personally think that the more he gets poked and prodded he could be aggravated and roust up the surrounding skin to be sore , so as tempting as it is to give Mr Lumpy a good poke just to keep him in his place , let the physicians do it for you. I sincerely hope you get to solve the mystery of exactly who the stranger "up there" is.
Good luck. 

So true!!! We definitely need to keep each other updated on here as hopefully we can put other people's minds at rest too. 
 

Frustratingly I've got to go for another procedure regarding and abnormal smear. Second colposcopy (first in 2018) due to hpv coming and going! My worry has always been about the link between hpv and anal cancer so was hoping it would've cleared up. 
 

my poor nether regions hahahaahah!!

Yes , we must carry on the saga of the lumps , like lord of the rings ( literally anal rings , oh dear )  
 I too fear HPV as I am too old and wrinkly to have had the jab for it , so I'm aware ......, so, so aware of the link between the virus and S.E.X  ye gods , but I read somewhere that even nuns and the like have been found with HPV , lord that makes your mind spin doesn't it ? I don't know of a definitive "test" for HPV either , so you're damned if you do , so to speak and definitely damned if you DO ......what a situation to be in .
- I've been reading about the "sig" omg I'm really looking forward to that , I don't think , apparently you can request "privacy pants " I can't wait . I think I'll ask if the Coldstream Guards do "requests" seeing as they're bound to be in the audience when the privacy pants get unleashed or blown away by the results of the enema ........

You think you've got the short end , well I've got another test ultrasound for the lady parts soon as well , so bring on the other probe , I've only got the earoles left now .........x 

may the force be with you 

Ps , what do you mean ? Your poor nethers ? Mine are defo in the same boat , up that creek and you know the one I'm talking about ...........

Helllooooo

Just wanted to check in and see how everything has been! Have you had your procedure done yet? I have my appointment on Tuesday so will update you with the outcome!