Hello Trish263

I'm sorry to hear that you're living with VIN and facing the prospect of a biopsy and then possibly surgery in the new year. 

It's understandable that you're experiencing some difficulties with your sex life and relationship at the moment. The menopause alone can cause a lot of problems for many women. Add to that your VIN and all the anxieties that you have then it's unsurprising that you have no desire to engage in sexual contact with your partner. 

I'd encourage you to speak to your GP or Consultant as there may be things that they can prescribe or recommend to help you better manage some of the menopausal symptoms. I'd also say it's really important to have that conversation with your partner. Often a frank and open conversation can help give you both clarity about what's going on and how the other is feeling. Hopefully, you and your partner can find a way forwards where you're able to show love and affection and to share intimacy without necessarily having intercourse. Communication will be key to you finding a way forwards where you're both comfortable. 

There are a number of women who have posted on the forum about VIN. If you use the forum search function to look for the term "VIN" you'll see lots of posts and you may be able to connect with other women living with this condition by replying to one of their messages. You might also want to have a look at the website for an organisation called The Vulval Pain Society You may also find recommendations for other groups in some of the VIN posts here on the forum. 

I hope that the biopsy goes well this week and that the results bring some positive news. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on. 

Sending my best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator