Hi, I'm writing for my Dad. He's 80 years old, independent and in good health but, obviously, feeling his age, so finds new situations anxiety producing and difficult to cope with. My mother has her own physical and psychological problems and is unable to provide any kind of support. Basically, Dad is her carer. I live abroad and haven't been able to come to the UK for almost two years because of Coronavirus. I speak to my parents every day by phone or Skype but ultimately only know what they tell me....
About the middle of July my Mum noticed what she thought was a suspicious mole bleeding on his upper arm. Time was wasted because the day she noticed it Dad had been in the middle of the raspberry canes pruning them and thought maybe he had scratched the mole. After a lot of insistence, because the mole didn't seem to be healing, he went to his GP. A nurse saw him and gave him an antibiotic cream and an appointment to go back in two weeks. After two weeks she said he would need it removed.
Appointment with dermatologist just to evaluate, not remove, the mole was for end September on the NHS. I found an appointment privately, and the dermatologist said it should be removed immediately. Op was done mid August, privately.
Towards the end of the month my parents went on holiday, assuring me that the specialist had their mobile numbers. Apparently not, because when they eventually returned home mid September they were "urgently" contacted by the specialist. The specialist said Malignant melanoma stage 2b and that he would refer Dad to the NHS for further treatment.
Appointment with NHS specialist was mid-October. Dad was told a wider skin excision and SLNB were required and that he would be called in about three months, so mid January. So we are waiting......., although the hospital he should go to has already been saying publicly that 'everything' is delayed because of Covid.
I have been reading this forum since the start of all this and would like to thank all those who write in with their own experiences and support.
My questions.
1. Always presuming that he is called in mid January it will be 5 months since the initial operation. I read that the recommended time between Initial mole removal and wider excision and SLNB was 3/4 weeks. How long did you wait between the two operations? . Is a five month wait normal, is it because of Covid or is this hospital exceptionally slow?? Apparently this procedure can't be done privately.
2. Dad has never been very convinced about this second operation. Now he is saying "it's not worth it, by now if it's spread, it's spread etc etc, what's the point of risking the side effects of a second op if it's spread already?" He says he checks the lymph glands under his arm weekly and they don't seem swollen. He also seems to be feeling better in himself than 2/3 months ago, although I know that doesn't mean anything. If you had the wider excision and SLNB could you tell me how severe the side effects were ...? If you decided not to have it done, were you offered other options to check on progression?
I'm trying to support him long distance, and would hope to come to the UK for his op but it's difficult to know how to reply to him. Any thoughts would be very much appreciated. Thanks