My husbands bladder cancer

Hi my husband is 71 and in June 2021 he had radical surgery to remove his bladder,prostrate and 33 lymph node, of which 17 came back positive..... He coped amazing with his recovery and he is doing fantastic with his stoma. When we saw the oncologist 8 weeks later we were told his cancer was very aggressive and without treatment he would have up to 6 months of life, with treatment he could be looking at a 50% chance of living a year to eighteen months. We were absolutely stunned and it felt like our hearts were torn apart. Dave chose to go with chemotherapy and is on his third session, he has only had the chemo rash and constipation other than this he is very well indeed. We see the oncologist before every session for a review which is only a few minutes of his time. We are so concerned as to what might happen in the near future but because he is so well we consider that is a very lucky place to be..... please has anyone had this diagnosis but can't believe it as he is so well . Regards Lorraine 

  • Hiya Lorraine.

    sorry to find you here asking for words of wisdom. I'm not that wise but can offer a few tips.

    ive been diagnosed with breast cancer ( in 42) and I've had surgery and feel really well-however I need chemotherapy , radiotherapy and 5-10years of medication. Which is so hard to get my head around as Ive been told im "cancer free" but still need all this treatment.

    My late father passed away in May (aged 67) after a diagnosis of prostate cancer -high grade gleeson score 9 . Psa was 13.-And cancer in lymph nodes -one in particular was the size of a grapefruit. He was only offered hormone injections and wasnt given any option of surgery /chemo or radiotherapy. He was told 8years back he only had 2-3years. But he got another 5years more than predicted.

    My late mum was 66 and diagnosed with Lung cancer- they told us she had "long weeks short months" to live. Meaning 5-10weeks /2-4months. She lived for 7weeks.

    They are estimating life spans based on averages-and in my dads case it was so inaccurate. 
    Tell him to take each day as it comes. He's doing really well following that surgery too. 

    Sound awful to think of end of life issues- sometimes having a diagnosis makes you plan funerals /will etc etc. My mam and dad did. Was good that they discussed their final wishes. 
    Have you asked for any financial advice McMillan are really helpful with my dads pension advice. 

    Take a day at a time. It's ok not to be ok and cry if you need.

    much love Efffie xx