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Diagnosed yesterday

Hayden001
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I was diagnosed with Leukaemia yesterday, it still hasn't really sunk in yet and I feel really alone with this, I've answered all the questions I can to my son and family, but already in less than a day I am so drained and tired by constantly telling everyone 'I'm ok, it'll be fine'. I cannot even think of telling people how this is worrying me as they are all struggling with it in their own ways and I will not burden them.  It's only one day and I feel drained completely already, how do I deal with this, I just don't know. 

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    Hi Hayden,

    A very warm welcome to our forum.

    I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. The diagnosis is all consuming and frightening to start with.  You will find that unless people have been through this themselves, most find it difficult to understand how worrying this is for you.

    Have you got a treatment plan yet? It becomes easier to deal with once you know what is happening and start to move forward. It is natural to feel over emotional, angry and in disbelief and even denial at this stage. Just take things one day at a time and let this sink in. Somehow or other, we always seem to find the extra strength to get through this.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. You will find that it is often easier to speak to strangers here , who have experience of what you are going through, rather than burdening family and friends. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

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    Hi Heyden,

    Very sorry to hear about your diagnosis. In my experience it won't have sunk in and might not, my advice is this -

    Make a point of asking your doctor what options you have. That means you can make your own decision. I did not do this and am due surgery next week.  I feel absolutely fine right now and quite honestly thinking what is the point in living with a stoma for a few years or just going on as I am until the end.

    It's also important you make your own considered choices so you can explain these rationally to your family and friends. This I cannot do because in the initial 'shock' I did not discuss with my doctor. 

    Hang in, be happy and remember love, make sure you give all you have!

    Jon

  • Offline in reply to Jolamine

    Hi Jolamine,

    yeah it's been a bit of a shock as I genuinely thought it was to do with another health issue I have, from the Consultants words at our first meeting I got the impression she didn't think it was much to worry about, clearly not the case 

    I have an appointment next week with my CNS to discuss options.

    To be honest I don't know what I feel, it changes minute by minute from 'oh well it is what it is' to blind panic wheee I can't think of anything else. 
     

    I don't really have anyone that I can unload to about me, I just seem to be doing all I can to make sure everyone else that knows is ok, I'm not comfortable talking to those I have as I've always been the one that people have come to with their problems, I'm the strong one as far as they all know but inside I'm in turmoil and I don't have anyone like me to go to.  
     

    hopefully I'll get used to the idea in time... maybe, I hope so 

    thanks for replying 

    Simon 

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    Hi Jon, 

    I agree - I don't know when, if, or how this will sink in, I hope it does some time soon before it eats me from the inside, it's only been a couple of days now and I feel if I don't get a grip what will I be like in a week, a month and so on, maybe I'll be better than now, or worse, I don't know. 

    I have an appointment with my CNS next week so will try and have some clarity before and write down any questions I can come up with. 

    Im not dissimilar, I don't feel great but am not really unwell so maybe that's why it's surprised me so much, I'd presumed that if I had cancer I'd feel worse than I do, naïve I guess. 

    Good luck with your surgery though and thanks for replying 

    Simon 

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    It is exhausting when you are newly diagnosed and having to support everybody else.Do you have a MacMillan Nurse to talk to?If not,you can post on here and ask the nurses if you need to ask questions that come into your mind or post to share with those of us with a cancer diagnosis.Most importantly,you are not alone even if you feel that way.It is important to talk to somebody honestly and not bottle it up.You have taken the first step which is good.

    Do you have a close friend whom you can talk to outside of your family?Or a minister or person you might feel comfortable with?I found that writing down how I felt and sending it to a friend?Sonetimes writing things down helps.

    Above all,keep talking,asking questions(maybe write them down or post on here when they pop into your head).
    It may feel as though you are in a fog and alone just now but there is always somebody you can talk to.If you need to talk during the night and think there is nobody there,remember Samaritans are always there,day and night.

    x


     

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    Hi Hayden,

    It is always a great shock at any time, but especially when your consultant didn’t expect it to start with. It is hard to know what you think at present. You need to have an in-depth discussion with your CNS next week. You will find it helpful to write down a list of any questions before you have your discussion. Ask about any different treatments, side-effects, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask how certain treatment will affect you during and after treatment – no question is taboo!

    You will find it easier as you get more used to your diagnosis. There are local cancer support groups in your area where you can go and have a cup of tea and chat to other cancer patients, counsellors, nurses, enjoy some alternative therapies, join a walking group, seated yoga class, etc. Two that spring to mind are Maggie’s and The Haven. There are possibly others in your area that your care team or GP can suggest. We all need support to get through this, so don’t be afraid to pop along.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine

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